Stop and stare

2010-05-05T22:05:00.003+08:00

Dear love.
If you are going to fall in love with me again, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with.

You are falling in love with my insecurities, You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with all my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my imperfections.

But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you how much I love you. You’re falling in love with the occasionally pain in the butt guy. Yo're falling in love with the one who will always stand by you and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me and I will always cherish you till the end of my time.

2010-04-04T16:19:00.000+08:00

Hearts are only practical when they are made unbreakable.

I had the best 2 nights ever.
Waking up like farmers and then heading back to sleep
And waking up again from the sun shining onto our face every now and then.

It felt good waking up to your face every morning.
Your eyes reflect depths of brown in the morning light that streams through the window, your hair dishevelled.
I can feel our legs entangled under the sheets and the familiar smell of your scent on my clothes and your pillow.
With my face looming over you, my hands curved around the small of your neck, around your waist while i wait for you to open your eyes only to look straight into mine.
I couldn’t help but to fall in love all over again.

So I pretty much rot for 2 whole days.
Nothing beats having her by my side,
Sleeping underneath the blankets to watch tv.
Cuddling and lazing in bed.
Making breakfast and dinner(=
Watching you walk everywhere with that huge pj of yours makes me wanna pull you close.

You have no idea.

2010-04-04T14:21:00.000+08:00

I am blessed, we have all this.

Good morning texts
Kisses on the forehead
Really long goodbyes
Holding hands
Silence that isn’t awkward
Waking up beside you.

Now, do you feel the same way?

2010-03-29T12:10:00.002+08:00

Maybe it was wrong of me
to think that i could keep you here with me forever.

2010-03-28T11:47:00.001+08:00

Familiar sense of helplessness.

Seems like in a span of a few weeks or probably months, you’ve changed into this girl who gets irritated with me easily, who doesn’t laugh at my jokes anymore, who doesn’t care at all, who doesn’t show any other emotions besides anger and jealousy.

Who’s just not the same anymore.
I don’t see how I’m being sensitive when clearly, things have changed. It just doesn’t feel the same anymore. But I know I’m gonna regret it if I let go cause’ a few years down the road, I want you by my side. So I keep telling myself that I’m gonna give it one more shot whenever I’ve lost hope. They say that the best thing in life, they don’t come free.

So on a brighter note,
I should learn from the past; no point trying to salvage what’s irreparable because no one’s irreplaceable.

2010-03-26T12:20:00.002+08:00

Last Request.

I hate myself for being such a blockhead.
I can't seem to see what's going on around me.
I interpret things the wrong way.

And when i ask, i still don't get an answer.
Just a simple, "You're dumb"
Yeah, i know that, thanks for pointing that out for me.

Maybe one day when i finally get it, it's gonna be too late.

2009-12-31T17:02:00.001+08:00

My last entry for 2009

2009 is coming to an end.
Mixture of relief and uncertainty is hitting me like a torpedo.
I’m glad I survived all the metal anguish that I was being put through,
all the heartaches that felt like it will never go away,
Not forgetting all my regrets and mistakes which I can’t exactly forget even if I tried to pretend that it didn’t exist.
I’m prepared to keep them all in a box, tagged them as 2009’s and never take them out.

Here comes uncertainty.
I never like this thing, it scares me not because I don’t know what’s going to hit me
But my own reactions to them.
I’m afraid that I’d give a wrong reaction to something and then screw things up.

And there’s the evitable thing call change.
Change is always good, I welcome it in my own way.
But some things shouldn’t change, like friends.
Friends should always be the same.
At least those who matter should.
(You, I’ve missed you)

Things changed, people changed.
Try and try again and you just know that old times will never come back.
And what sickens me is when it becomes obvious that a choice is made and you are being replaced by someone new.
Be it a lover or friend.

So 2009 was an epic nut crack, but in a good way.
School, slack, study, complain, more complains, improved.
Many many retarded episodes in class and of cos falling in and out of love.
Let me guarantee you, that was only a phrase
(A very fun phrase)

And I’ve got to say this, I love you guys.
Those those who i sort of get to talk to everyday,
Those who complains to me,
Those who lets me complain to them,
Those who whine non-stop to me,
Those who lets me whine non-stop to them,
Those who gets annoyed with my chanting of, “ Are we there yet” but will still respond to it,
Those who laughs at me,
Those who talk dirty back to me,
Those who tell me their grandmother long stories,
Those who let me tell my grandmother long stories,
Those who wake me up at ungodly hour just to tell me to pee,
Those who appreciates my nonsense,
Those who go, ”Ewww, gross” at my burp but follows on with a laugh,
Those who know that without my HAHAS, there’s definitely something wrong with me.

2009 will be shit without them.
HAHA

On a separate note,
Before the year officially ends, I shall do a quick update on my extremely short holiday.

I had steamboat at Su’s house with the same bunch.
Shopping for the food was good, had fun choosing and deciding the amount that we should get.
Played many rounds of mah-jong and poker.
Gawd, i suck at it, lost a few million bucks.
I shall hone my skills and be the god of gambler someday.

Went East Coast with them again,
CYCLE CYCLE CYCLE,
Till I couldn’t feel my butt and legs anymore.

Caught Sherlock Holmes with E,
Not a bad movie but some parts were a tad too draggy.
We walked all over town since the places that we wanna go were pretty scattered.

Met E again to buy her stuff,
Again, we walked all over the place because we need to get the cheapest price,
like some aunty, I know.
Put my haggling skills to good use and got some flim for only 11 bucks.

Shisha with her, look like some drug addict, those that you see that are hooked on opium.
Reminds me of a dragon too, with thick smoke coming out through the nostrils.
I wanna buy that thing home to play.

Oh yeah, I had bbq with my family.
Food was good, I’m not a fan of prawns but I ate most of them that night.
So we ate, drink, drank and lastly drunk.
Dad wanted to camp out the entire night but,
nb, no tent la.

I wonder if people do make out in the tent.
What will the rest of the people there think?
“Eck, whose moaning so late in the night?!”
Bet it must be a little creepy.

Alrighty, a really long post.
Shall start preparing to go out.
Shall try to get drunk tonight.
I hope she’s back and calls me(=

Goodbye, my shits.

2009-12-08T13:28:00.002+08:00

I’m Helpless When You Smile.

I’m supposed to help out with work in class but I find myself here.
A wee bit too distracted and I can’t seem to focus on anything.
So I shall try my luck in weeding the distractions here.

Let’s see, chunks of my memories came back so I’ve decided to type them down just in case I forget again.
Went to Her hse on Friday to roll around the bed while she sleeps like a pig.
And then to tampines to meet Su and aunty.
Had popeye(=
But we were too full to finish all the food.

On sat went to dad’s club to eat jap(=
Yummy, but I think soon I’m going to be so sick of going there.
Always eating the same thing -.-

-

‘ You may not be her first, her last, her only. She loved before she may ever love again. But if she loves you now. What else matters? She’s not perfect- you aren’t either and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you part of her that she knows that you can break- her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”

How true, but somehow I’m afraid.
Afraid to watch everything crumble before my eyes and know that I can’t do anything about it.
Afraid that the stability which I’ve grown accustom to, starts to shake and then disappear.
Afraid that I’d lose not only a companion, soul mate but a best friend.

I’ve been through that countless of times and I don’t think that I can go through with that again.
I don’t want to feel helpless
I don’t want to be disappointed
I don’t want to know that I can never turn back time when I screw things up, which I know that I’m prone to

Alright, back to work.

I can’t stop for her.

2009-12-06T23:37:00.000+08:00

My Only Hope And Security Is In Knowing That
You Are A Part Of My Life.

I can smell FREEDOM!
Finally the last week of school(=
I can’t wait to hurry end this week.

On a separate note,
Been busy going out and returning home late.
I can’t seem to remember what I’ve done.
It’s like something’s deleting chucks of my memory away.

Anyway, just got back from tampines.
Went all the way to siglap just to have a cup of ice cream and then to tampines to have Long John.
This is the x292507 time I’ve eaten that in a week.
Soon I’d be so scared of that like how I detest yoshi.

On a brighter note,
Results have been good so far except for Physics.
Gawd, that is one mother fucking subject that I can never seem to understand, much less get the hang of it.
I’m being screwed by it and then feel extremely helpless.
The “Omg, I’m going to watch myself die” kind of helpless.
I hate this)=

Okay, time to head in, coma till tmr.
I have to start psycho-ing myself all over again.
Tragic life.

If I walk would you run; If I stop would you come?

2009-11-29T21:36:00.002+08:00

Not young anymore.
So that leaves me with Angry and Poor.
And clearly not understood.
Tragic.

I love this long weekend but sadly it’s coming to an end.
Good things all come to an end somehow, don’t they?

Went to Aunty’s chalet on Friday.
God, the weather was fucked up.
It just had to rain the moment I’m at Pasir Ris, not those small little droplets but Dinos & Hippos.
Moreover I was stranded at some ulu pandan bus stop cause the bus doesn’t go to the interchange.
Had to wait forever for the one and only bus to get myself to the interchange.

So we went Ehub to play pool, well, more fun for the guys actually since I’m not really a fan of that.
Finally the aunty came and we helped to unload those stuff and we’re off to roam again.
The weather was being a bitch the entire time.
Can’t cycle, can’t nothing.

Finally we found a spot at coffee bean, whip out the camera and cam whore.
Took many pictures and I bet that the aunty will take forever to upload them.
I’m gna rush her for ‘em tmr(=

The guys started the fire by the time we went back.
So those routine stuff, more pictures & more pictures.
Anyway we all had fun, I can do this again anytime(=

On a separate note,
I’m feeling all christmasy now due to the Xmas songs that are on repeat.
There’s still quite a while before Christmas and I think by that time, I’ll get super annoyed with those songs.
But seriously for the first time in my life, I’m excited for Christmas.
Maybe because of the huge tree that’s sitting in the middle of my hall.

On a (much) brighter note,
The holidays are coming, just 2 more weeks and I’m gna be free for 3 weeks(=
3 weeks is a little short but it beats better than none.
I have so much that I wanna do during that period of time(=

Seems like every time you come back home,
It’s just to steal my heart and leave

2009-11-26T22:33:00.000+08:00

How does it make you feel to hear me say that I miss you?

Had an awesome week the classmates.
Let’s see, I can’t really remember the exact dates that we went out so here’s whatever that I can remember.
So went East Coast to do a lil cycling.
Spend 2 hours, teaching Aunty to cycling -.-
And after all, she looked as if she has just given birth.
HAHAHAH!
Woman ah woman, please balance yourself.

Oh before that, I went all the way to Suntec just to find Smelly and then from there take the train to kallang just to take a bus down to East Coast.
Seriously, I must be out of my mind.
The intention was to have lunch with her and when I’m finally there, she don’t wanna eat -.-
I can fucking hell take a bus from my place -.-

So day don’t know when, went to Cwp to have ice cream.
Yummy(=
Ice cream, whip cream and waffle is love.
I can have that for the rest of my life.

Then we went ktv again on don’t know which day.
God, I was so hungry till I’m so willing to pay for a mother fucking 2 bucks cup noodle.
So anyway, after eating it’s my habit to sleeeeep.
HAHA!
I’m going to turn into a fat ball soon.

Anyway, pictures will be on facebook(=
Too lazy to upload so many million times.

On a separate note,
Smelly, I don’t know where the heck you’ve disappeared to but just know that I HATE YOU.
Seriously hate you.

Pasir Ris with the Classmates again tmr.
Bbq(=
Aunty is gonna try her luck at cycling again.
HAHAHA!
I think I’m going to have fun laughing at her again.

Long post tonight, I’m done.
Look for that girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved.

2009-11-19T23:19:00.002+08:00

Scared of its uncertainty,
of its depth.

Awesome day today.
Not because of school but because the entire class, well almost except for 2 kids, decided to give the other half of the lesson a miss.
Some went town and the others, Ktv.

Took damn long to convince the sisters to go ‘cause they wanted to go East Coast to cycle initially.
So anyway, it’s pretty cheap, the cheapest so far I guess.
Oh yeah, and the gang who went were, Z, J, Su, SMELLY and the sisters.
Sang Chinese songs and more Chinese songs.
Listened to almost 1 week of Chinese songs in one sitting -.-

So dinner back at Cwp with smelly.
Pasta(=
And for the first time, I finished an entire cup of ice -.-
Thanks to you! (yes, you)

On a separate note,
when it stops hurting does it mean I’m over it or that I’m used to it?
when there is no room for second chances, there is only room left for regrets.
I’ve fucked my life up, so be it, I’d learn.

I'm going in circles, I need to see you, badly.

2009-11-17T22:44:00.000+08:00

I Know That I’m Alive But I Feel Like I’ve Died.

Gave school a miss, yet again.
And the feeling is so out of heaven.
So it’s back to school tmr for design.
Boring shit.
Counting down to weekends baby.
Why so slow?

Anyway, i think my grades have been suffering this semester.
LATE LATE, always LATE.
I’m trying to be early but I can’t seem to wake up -.-

On a separate note,
Caught 2012 with P.
Very predictable and it’s too long.
3 mother fucking hours plus we got the second row from the front.
I gain nothing but a stiff neck.

I have more than this to blog that’s why I’m here.
But suddenly, I don’t know what to blog.
My thoughts are all scattered.
What the fuck am I doing.
What the fuck am I typing.

I just can’t concentrate, why oh why?

2009-11-10T21:52:00.000+08:00

It’s My heart You’re Dealing With But,
You Don’t Know About It.

My mind hurts from all the thinking.
I’m not sure where/how to begin.

I wanna head out for a run, weed out the distraction.
But looking at the time now, I think I have to hold it in for one more night.

On a separate note, I’ve been finding too many excuses not to blog.
So I’ve decided to finally pen my random thoughts down.

Ut this week and it sucks.
I screwed Physics so badly, no wait, I think Physics screwed me up.
Mega duper hard and I don’t even understand a shit.
Those questions smack hard into my face, caught me off guard.

Design tmr and again, I’m clueless as to what they are gna test on.
What’s there to study and sit for?
My results are gna be atrocious, I wonder what excuse I’m gna give myself this time.
On a brighter note,

Finally met them for dinner and a lil window shopping(=
It’s been ages since we last did that together.
Ah, I miss secondary school days.
They zoom past so goddamn fast, never giving me a chance to really appreciate things.

Can’t believe that we’re in the midst of Nov.
Soon December is hitting and there goes 2009.

The same reckless phase with a different face.

2009-10-27T20:28:00.001+08:00

There’s a million important things to do,

But none as important as lying here next to you.

As you can tell i’ve disappeared for the past few wekks.
Been really busy going out and majorly laziness which explains why I didn’t update.
HAHAHA

Anyway, I caught The ugly truth with E and it was damn good.
I like the part where the woman was squirming in her undies while she gave that “fuck me right now” face.
HAHAHA.
I should buy vibrator undies for someone and then try it out.
Surely damn fun((=

Who shall be my target, hmmmmmmmm..
Anyway, before catching that movie we walked around MS in circles.
Nothing to do while waiting for our movie.
Decided to just sit at Mac to people watch.

And guess what we saw.
A fucking cannot make it tranny -.-
His chest is flat and he still wear until damn revealing.
What’s there to see dude? At least stuff 2 oranges there first, get the shape.
Or maybe I should donate my small boobs away.
HAHA!

On a separate note,
Design tmr and I can already see that it’s gonna be bleak.
I don’t even think that our dustbin will be able to stand.
Tell me how the heck am I gonna survive tmr?

And lately I can’t sleep in peace ‘cause I’m highly disturbed by my own breathing,
My nose is whistling.
Shall give school a miss on thurs and finally get my fat ass to the doctor.

My chin’s itchy,
maybe a goatee is finally sprouting.

Let’s skip the goodbyes, we had too many.

2009-10-14T21:42:00.000+08:00

Why is it lingering like this?

I dread going to school nowadays,
it used to be fine,
like some kind of routine I slipped into blindly.

But now,
why is school so damn gross that I feel like I can no longer bring myself to be blind.
Or maybe I’ve gotten too lazy.

Spent almost half of my awake hours in school.
Walked everywhere to find “hot” guys and girls.
I see tragedy in the making.
HAHAHA

Finally it’s going to be Thursday once again.
Counting down, counting down.
And maybe I won’t be so broke by the end of this week so that I can go out.
Seems like I’ve been real broke lately.
Something’s wrong with my wallet, I think there might be holes in them.

"Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. What then kills love? Only this: Neglect. Not to see you when you stand before me. Not to think of you in the little things. Not to make the road wide for you, the table spread for you. To choose you out of habit not desire, to pass the flower seller without a thought. To leave the dishes unwashed, the bed unmade, to ignore you in the mornings, make use of you at night. To crave another while pecking your cheek. To say your name without hearing it, to assume it is mine to call."

-Jeanette Winterson, "Written On The Body"

2009-10-12T21:43:00.000+08:00

It will never go away

Another new week of school.
Why am I starting to count down to my next holidays?
Anyway, life is no heaven right now.

I keep trying to do lots of things at one go, keeping myself real busy till there’s no space for rest.
No space to sit down and think of you.
Every time I thought that I’m tired enough, exhausted to the point where I can just close my eyes and sleep, you appear in my head.

Have you tried holding your breath till the point where you can hold no more before taking another deep breath and do it all over again?
Well, I do that sometimes when thoughts of you come rushing to my mind.
It helps me to push you out for a lil while and I like that.

This is the fucking fourth time that i’m doing this.
I did that so many other times and i always fail.
I gave in too many times and its crippling me.
This time, I’m not gonna head back even if it means i’d die.
I don’t want to walk down this lane anymore, I have to get it over and be done with.

You don’t even need me anyway.
Your heart doesn’t even beat for me.
I’m not the one you turn to when darkness falls.
I’m nothing to you but you just had to mean something to me.
And this sucks.

When I fall apart, I stick myself back on my own

2009-10-06T20:21:00.001+08:00

If this is it, I’m okay

It’s the second day of school and I feel so damn tired alr.
The waking up early part and the travelling is killing me every single day.
And my class is just too quiet, I’m like going to some funeral everyday -.-

In that new class, I find myself actually doing work -.-
They seriously just ruined my bo chap image.
Can’t slack = Angry me.
I shall be a slacker next week(=

Anyway, I miss w14J
I miss how we talk lots of cock.
Laugh at the maths faci.
Skip class togetherly(=

Who’s gonna eat cup noodles with me during break?
Who’s gonna eat ice cream with me?
Gang, I miss you la)=

On a separate note, it’s playmate’s birthday.
So HAPPY BIRTHDAY, old hag!
Officially 20, no more 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19
It’s now going to be 21, 22, 23....29!
HAHAHA!
Anyway, love you plenty even if you become an old old naggy granny =D

Will you think of me tomorrow?

2009-10-04T00:54:00.000+08:00

Go away

I’m seriously fucking pissed tonight.
Ah, its alr 12 plus in the early morning right now but who cares.
I totally lose it tonight.

It’s not normal to lose my cool at all but tonight, I did.
I already told them not to touch the head at all, they can aim anywhere but the head.
I don’t mind getting soaked but I seriously mind getting my hair wet.
Especially when I already said not to touch my head since I’m meeting YOU(= for supper.
So obviously I just want to go home to change into dry clothes and just head out again.
But I had to bathe and then dry and do whatever with my hair all over again.

Not like I need to tell them a reason for not getting my hair wet.
When I said not to, shouldn’t she just fucking hell listen?
If my hair got wet by accident, I seriously wouldn’t be mad since it’s my fault for not avoiding it.
But she came right up to me and smacks the balloon right onto my head.
That was definitely intentional since she came up so close just to burst it.
I didn’t even see it coming at all.
And at that moment, I wanted to punch someone.
No joke, that was how pissed I felt.

Never felt this way with a friend for a long long time and tonight, I just broke it.
I’m not sorry for losing my cool at all.
I need to break free tonight, and I don’t think I can go back ever again.

Fuck that fucker tonight.

2009-10-03T02:43:00.001+08:00

Anywhere looks good, just run with me.

Again I find myself here at ungodly hour, probably seeking solace.
I really should break this habit.

Anyhow, there’s only one reason which keeps me from sleeping,
Random thoughts which I fear, anticipate and get disappointed over and over again.
I always chose the hardest path to run.
And so I’m an idiot.

When there are days I miss you, I try hard to turn away.
When there are days I want to hear your voice, I try hard not to call you.
When there are days I feel like talking to you, I try hard not to send the msg that I’ve already typed out.
When there are days I crossed the friendship line, I try hard to rewind and clear up the mess.
And when there are days I love you, I try hard to ignore, pretend and hide. (This is the one that is killing me the most)
No matter how hard I try, sometimes I fail.
I told you that I miss you
I call you when I want to hear your voice
I text you random stuff just so that I can talk to you
Crossed that line so many times but I take damn long to clear the mess up
But I think one thing I did well is to ignore, pretend and hide that love which isn’t mine.

If giving up is that easy, then I guess what I had for you isn’t love.
And sometimes I wish that it isn’t love that I’m feeling.

I have nothing to throw away but myself for you.

2009-09-30T01:42:00.001+08:00

Fuckadoodoo

I seem to be wide awake when I’m supposed to be asleep these days.
The silence is too unbearable and it keeps me awake all night with wild thoughts running through my mind.
Why can’t the sun rise now?
At least with so many activities in the day, it will help to keep me distracted, at least for awhile.

If someone were to ask me what’s the cruellest thing on earth now,
i’d say Time.
You can’t ask time to slow down and wait for you
You can’t ask time to stop at a particular moment for a little while
You can’t ask time to hurry move on so that feelings can heal faster
You can’t ask time to rewind itself and go back to those days

Ah, incoherent thoughts again.
I’m really losing it.
I think it’s time to sleep or find something else to do till I’m tired.

No regrets, I’m moving on.

2009-09-29T01:14:00.001+08:00

Between You And I

What in the world am I doing here at this hour?
I feel screwed, I think life just screwed me up.
Makes me wanna throw rotten smelly eggs at it.

Can’t sleep, can’t think and can’t get it right.
I’m wide awake with incoherent thoughts running through my mind.
A mixture of fear, anticipation, weariness and other stupid emotions keeping me from having a good night’s rest.
I think it’s more of weariness tonight.
I’ve allowed myself to cross that stupid line again.
I’ve constantly remind myself of where I stand and yet I just had to ignore the red lights and cross right over.
Now I’m all tangled in my own mess and I can’t get out.
FML, really.

Very often we put our best foot forward, only to get screwed in the end.
Senseless it may be, we still go forward with it.
What the fuck is wrong with us.
Can’t we sense danger and just run back like a whimp?
Must we really get stuck in a situation or prove that there’s no other way to move on, then Whoops, dead end, and make a tedious U turn.

And find ourselves back at square one, all over again.

I really don’t know what I’m doing.

2009-09-23T00:58:00.003+08:00

I can’t help but dread.

I can’t fall asleep tonight.
Going to Sentosa in a few more hours and I really dread it.
Not because of the company that I’m going with but the place itself.
But really, they wouldn’t understand why even if I tell them, so what’s the point.

Too much memories in that place.
It’s like going back to the past except that I’m there without you.
I can’t help but think of you whenever I’m there.
I went there about 2 years ago and I swear I thought I’d be fine but I can’t breathe easy there and I want to get out of the place badly.

I don’t want to relieve those days anymore.
That’s why I never step foot onto that island.
It’s not easy and I guess it will never be.
Now I look like a complete idiot because they think that I don’t want to go because of one particular person.
Why will I do that man, not like she’s my greatest enemy.
But that’s the only excuse I can give.
How do I tell them the truth, either way I’d still look stupid.
So I chose to use an excuse which is entirely not like me.
They wouldn’t find out anyway.

On a separate note,
I said that I’m going to let go but it’s not easy at all.
I can’t run away ‘cause in the end, I still find myself back where I left off.
I swear one day I’m gonna run off and never look back.
I’m taking one step away every single day & I hope I will never return ever again, no matter what happens.

Maybe if running away fails, I’m gonna have to pretend that feelings don’t exist.
I can’t face her knowing that my heart feels something, its driving me insane.
So it’s time I should leave it all behind.
She wouldn’t know that I’m gone, it’s not like she know that I’ve always been one step behind her.
So to you, this is goodbye.

I need to run away tonight, I’m afraid.

2009-09-21T18:27:00.000+08:00

No backup plan, no second chance.

2009-09-19T01:10:00.003+08:00

I will kill myself at the 15th line.

Went to Thai express today and I swear I thought their service has improved.

Gawd, the lady was bowing when she served us.

Actually she’s trying to tell us that she is mute or something.Damn, and there I thought she’s an awesome waitress.

Ben & jerry’s mint chocolate tasted just like what I’d put into my mouth the first thing every morning

....TOOTHPASTE

Without those bits of chocolates, I think it’ll be like swallowing chunks of toothpaste and then drinking it when it’s all melted.

HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU EAT THAT?! (yes, you)

I like Orchardcentral’s resting area.

Soft sofas and a huge screen which kept on playing the same advertisement over and over again like some broken recorder.

Anyway, that place feels like a high class bugis or maybe far east.

Why the fuck do we need so many of these shopping centers when all the shops are almost the same everywhere.

Build some huge adult playground man, I need that!

I want to eat sushi...off Leighton Meester
Ok, just kidding please please please.

Karma starts within me.

2009-09-12T17:12:00.000+08:00

I hope that I can walk out of this in one piece.

Its good to be back here after a major hiatus.
I don't know what made me wanna come back but I just did.
Maybe because I happen to read my older posts and I kind off feel nostalgic.
Whatever, I don't know how long I'd be sick of this place once again.
Soooooooo..

So China..the holy land of spits.
What can I say but to be really cautious of the next step that you're gonna take.
You don't know what you'd accidentally step on man, really I'm serious.
That's how bad it is and they say it was worse in the past.
Fucking sick.

Ok so the flight there was not that awesome.
My plane departs at 1am in the morning, how ungodly can this get.
I've never taken a midnight plane so you can guess how tired I was when i finally board it at around 12 30.
Couldn't sleep in the plane cause I was not used to sitting almost upright to sleep and what makes it worst was that I didn't get the window seat.
So I just had to watch movies after movies.

Started sightseeing around without and sleep.
Seriously, what a way to start a day.
Started to be real grouchy during midday and the other family's kids just had to piss me off.

I'm normally okay with kids but i just forgot what's it like to be around one so that explains my pissed off attitude with them.
The girl is the same age as calista(=
And i swear she reminds me off her in every way.

Anyhow, I've visited many places and I'm lazy to blog about them. HAHA
Just those interesting bits which amounts to probably less than 5.
Here goes..
Their night market is way cooler than out pasa malam(?)
They sell things like sheep penis, worms, scorpion and whats not.
Seriously, who in the right mind will want to eat those.

Their toilets uh, seriously CANNOT MAKE IT.
Super smelly, wet and the best thing is that almost all the doors are faulty.
Can't lock and can peep through.
How to pee in peace like that.

The rural area is the best man.
Fucking alien toilet.
Just one drain which is shared among all the other cubical.
A half door to block whatever and that's it.
You just have to do it, no flush no nothing.

The best part of China.
Booze is way cheaper than carbonated water man.
And ciggs cost only 3 buckeroos!
We can all go there to have fun and be merry all day long.
Why singapore not like that uh, WHY?

Oh yeah the great wall of china almost killed me.
Bloody hell, it's immensely hard to get to the top man.
Such a cooling weather can make me perspire like some dog.
Really, I have to catch my breathe almost every few steps.
Seriously in need of exercise.
And those steps are not ordinary steps I'd tell you.
You have to stretch your leg so bleedy high just to get onto the next.
What the fuck is wrong with those people from the past *%&$$#*&

Alright, so the flight back was shiok.
Except for the fact that a lil girl was kicking my chair too bleedy often.
Wanted to chop off her legs and stuff it down the toilet bowl.
Seriously one annoying kid.

Uhm, i gotta run now.
Meeting the guys so i'll be back to finish this if i feel like it later.

Help me, hold you.

2008-07-17T16:09:00.002+08:00

Goodbye, it's over.

This was a hard choice, this was 4 years of my life, this as of now, is history.

See you someplace else!

http://tippytoess.livejournal.com

2008-07-16T17:58:00.000+08:00

But I swear you've got me all wrong.

I've been losing patience with this particular someone lately. He wakes up pretty early and fucking assumes that I do too. It’s damn annoying to wake up cursing and swearing to his messages. Mother hell, I can’t even sleep a little longer.

He did that again today and I didn't give a fuck to reply. He can just text me later in the day to tell me that he isn't coming ‘cause he’s sick la. Must text me so friggin early in the morning eh?! Plus, what’s the point in telling me that he isn't coming? Goddamnit.
I swear he can take all his msges to hell.

Ok, I sound pretty bad but it can’t be blamed. He is that annoying and all the msges he sent are so redundant. Once he friggin hell text me at some ungodly hour to ask if I was awake. Wtf pls.

On a separate note, I ran into a dragonfly this morning and I swear I don’t know what the fuck I should do. I was on this one way path and so there’s no way I can avoid it. That dragonfly nearly make me pee onto my pants or prolly run off like some gay. Damn, I hate things that have wings. Birds are an exception though.

--

Could it be
That nothing’s gonna change
‘Cause time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
Can you see?
The girl you used to be
The one I lost when I let you go

Till then.

2008-07-13T22:33:00.001+08:00

My girl, this can’t be right.

Ok, I know I haven’t exactly been updating this space. I just couldn't find the time and each time I come online, I’d be too lazy to update.

Let’s see now, today saw me through a date with my beloved babe and a birthday party at Mac. Walked ard town with H which was rather fun and I swear it’s like I’m exercising since I freaking hell don’t walk much these days. Something creepy came up when we were in the GIRLS shop at PS. This freaking lady assistant was practically staring at me from the damn time we walked in till we paid for the item. H noticed it and we felt damn weird and uncomfortable, esp me. Gawd, it’s as if I’m an animal in the zoo man.

And so H concluded that she’ll meet weird people whenever she’s with me. Hey, it’s not my fault that they think that I’d just escaped from the zoo or something man.
Took many weird and gay pictures at spotlight. I swear that place is highly entertaining. There’s so much stuff to play and keep ourselves entertained. So we walked the whole of PS and out next stop is centerpoint. Nothing much there and so we walked to Far East. Damn, that place is really far. We traveled with our legs and I swear its damn tiring. Plus I was carrying H’s bag which weigh a ton. (Yes, I’m complaining here!)

Done with town and so we headed to the party. Was damn late but I didn't really intend to be there on time since it’s an all kids party, mind you. So I saw the birthday girl and gave her the present which she had requested for quite some time. Ate Mac’s onion rings again and I swear it’s not as nice as before alr. I've wasted tons of food today, first it was BK’s burger and now Mac’s onion rings. To think I wanted to buy ice-cream. I must be mad. So before heading off I took a pic with Nutty. Finally I've got a picture with her. HOHO!

For once I’m nice to walk H home. We were burping our way back man. It’s damn funny. We should prolly do this again. I swear I can never burp in front of anybody and find pleasure in it. Be honored, honey bunny. Ok, I know we didn't catch that movie that you wanted to watch so hurry be available so that I can date you to watch it(=

Sy is really funny. She called earlier on to ask me whether I will be free on my birthday when July’s not over yet la. She’s really funny plus I wouldn't know if I’d be free next week much less end of August. LOL. Anyhow, I promise to let you know yeah. And the dinner date which didn't take place, hurry be available la.

For the pictures that were taken today, I can’t post it cos most are so damn gay. Was entertaining H that’s why those gay stuff surfaced. Be honored babe, I did it all for you la. A side not many will see and I fucking can’t believe I did all that. *slaps forehead
So just you and I will know about my gay stuff. HAHA

That’s about it.
Till then, when I can find the time and when I’m not too lazy =D

Wanting is easy but loving is terrifying.

2008-07-02T20:15:00.002+08:00

Too numb for tears.

I'm actually quite lazy to update but since its been quite sometime since there's a decent post, i shall not be lazy for once.

Let's see now, I've been going out pretty often and can't remember the exact dates to all my outings. Anyway, last month saw me through one movie, a few dinner dates, skipping school once for a breakfast date and crashing into class cause i couldn't get up in time.

Ok, the movie date wasn't really planned. My mom was suppose to watch it with my brother but since she couldn't make it at the very last minute, i replaced her. Incredible hulk is awesome but those guys sitting next to us were not. Mother hell annoying and loud. Vulgarities were spewing out, its as if they were involved in a fight or watching their gang fight or something. I was so tempted to hurl my hot dog right into their face but i resisted, for the fact that my amount of vulgarities will lose to them.

Met H for dinner and we went to the hongkong cafe. Can't remember much but i know i was freezing inside. Drank that mango ice thing and my internal organs started to vibrate and slam against one another. Really, it was mother fucking cold. After dinner which was damn filling, we took a long walk to, i don't know where, to buy some bread which is supposedly good. We ended up walking right up to the front of the shop and walked back to heartland. All thanks to H, she was supposed to buy at least one item back. So we walked to the park and hang around till we're sleepy.

The other time i was at the park, i got a little tipsy. We drank booze there and i swear i was feeling so damn hot and my head was in a whirl. But i managed to get my arse home, in fact, i walked home. I don't think i was even walking straight but who gives a shit, it was already quite late.

Today is so damn fun and i wanna do it all again. Went Compass point with J and F for lunch after school and we had pasta. We were all so indecisive and almost took forever to choose a place to eat. There's so many choices and yet we can only choose one. In the end, Pizza Hut was our choice. And then again, we took a decade to choose our food. Again, there are so many choices. Sometimes i swear too many choices is a bad thing. I wanted to have a pan of pizza but the rest couldn't eat anymore, esp J. She couldn't finish her own portion and she kept giving it to us. F finished the calamari rings with me but was complaining how he couldn't walk already. HAHA! So i was the last man standing and fact is, i wasn't even full yet. LOL

Went to Timezone after lunch. J spent a total of 40 plus buckeroos on that sweet machine thing. Its insane but really damn mega bloody hell fun and addictive. She took all the stuff toys in it and even won the jackpot please. F wasn't that fascinated by the toys but the sweets instead. He took home the whole bag of sweet. This guy live for sweets.

Next stop, that ulu pandan house just outside Pongol mrt. Gawd, i didn't want to go there in the first place. Its said to be haunted that's why it can't be demolished or whatever. We had to walk this really ultra long stretch of field, down a steep slope, cross a road, through mega long grasses which reach up to maybe the waist and above to get to that abandon house. We didn't make it through the road and all. We stop at the slope and could get no further. Ok, we were scared. J was ranting at us cos we were suppose to be brave and all but instead, our courage failed us. HAHAS.
It's just too scary, thank god we didn't go in the night. I think i will really pee in my pants. LOL

Ok that's about it all. I have to wash my hamster's cage or else my mom will start nagging at me which i swear could even raise the dead or maybe flip hell. I hate to do that job and will pay anybody to do it for me. Any takers?! HAHAHS

Never thought I'd miss you that much.

2008-06-29T18:28:00.000+08:00

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that i was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

Now i can't go on without you
I'm naked, i can't fake it
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought that i could love you the way that i do

2008-06-26T20:08:00.002+08:00

I've ran out of tears but my heart keeps cringing when
I try to close my eyes and sleep.

2008-06-22T22:08:00.000+08:00

No longer the same man.

Lets see now, I went to heartland to get my mane cut and I regretted doing that! GAHHH! Oh well, it will grow out so I should probably relax a little just that I'm never gonna step out of the house without a paper bag over my head.

The fringe is super short. Maybe I'm not used to it but hey, I've had short hair throughout my entire years in secondary school so I should be okay with it right? So why do I feel depressed over one damn short fringe? ROAR! Hurry grow out!

On a separate note, my vein is damn bruised by that fucker needle. It looks like I injected myself multiple times. So much for that nurse professionalism huh. Since it will turn out this way, I might as well do it myself. At least it wouldn't cost that much. The whole blood test thing cost 110 buckeroos la. Total rip off and the pain put me through 3 days of hell.

Oh yes E, sneeze die you tonight. Hahahs. Ok, take good care alright. Get well soon and I hope it won't worsen yeah. Drink more water! I know you do but just drink more la huh. Like buckets of water, drink them all up(=

Its a brand new week tmr so that means there's school. -sulks
Talk about tiredness, sheesh. Thank god there isn't any results to face or i'll attempt suicide.
LOL

My neighbor is having disco at her place right now. Goddammit! Why must that couple spoil the blissfulness of the quiet night every single night?! They are like deaf or something, forever blasting their music. I shall blast techno right back at them, mine will surely drown theirs. Nobody appreciates their music since its all oldies. Ok maybe the older generations which are in this case, my parents. Fuck cheebye. That couple always make me have the urge to slam their ears to the amplifiers. Ok that's a little crude but who gives two hoots about it.

Its getting on my nerves, I'm going off to my room to have quiet time with my psp. But before doing that I think I have to hunt for food first. I'm hungry and I doubt there’s anything in the fridge for me. Oh well, I shall bug my mom till she surrenders whatever food she hid away. HOHO!

I feel safe all the time.
All the time when you're by my side.

Till then,
We'll see if I have the shitass time to update.

2008-06-21T23:10:00.001+08:00

This place, with you by my side,
Is where i'll always want to be.

2008-06-20T23:15:00.000+08:00

Not the best time.

I've created a huge mess for myself and i doubt i have the capability to clear it all up. It's not the way i've imagined and wanted things to go. It's just that for some reason, it went down. I don't know how and why things changed within such a short time. And its damn annoying to know that i've been questioning myself if the heart was in it all these while.

I said that we will last a lifetime and when i said that, i really meant it. I thought that things will never change and i guess it's not right to assume. I'm really sorry to have hurt someone in whichever way i have. I have no idea how to put it across to her and to me, that was the best way. We couldn't have done any better even if we tried. It's just not possible.

I don't wish for history to be repeating itself but know that its inevitable. I do hate myself but not for the things i've never done or said. What's the point in saying all this, its just entirely redundant now. Its just better to end it than to hold on to something which will never exist (this is easier said than done, hell)

I don't think i'm making much sense now. This sucks but i know i'm never turning back.

On a lighter note, i went back for my heart check up today. Those damn doctors never once stick to the appointment time. What's the fucking point in allocating time slots then?! Anyhow, i've got to go back in 3 months time for another run of tests. I fucking hate to go there but i can't escape it thanks to my mom. When the doctor said that he need to do a blood test, i almost pee onto my pants. And when i see that damn fucker needle, i almost wanna run of the room. This sounds so gay but i hate having blood drawn out of me. I have too little blood and she stick that needle in me for quite some time to get more out. Wtf i'd tell you. One friggin heart problem and i have to go through hell. Damn, if only i can survive without a heart. How great would that be?

I should just tell my mom that i'm so damn healthy and i feel no pain anymore. I could try that, maybe it'll work. Who knows? I have to give whatever crap i can think of so that she will buy it and i can escape it for good(= No more blood test and heart scan. This is heaven!

But no matter where I'm heading
And no matter what I do
Something keeps me coming back to you

That's about it.
Till then.

2008-06-15T00:30:00.000+08:00

Whatever happened to what we once had?

Finally met up with B and H. Meeting H wasn't really planned. I just happened to text the wrong person yet again so i just ask her out for supper. Oh i met J too. Great catching up with all of 'em. It's been so damn long, i couldn't even remember how long i haven't seen them.

Ah, if it weren't for a weird meeting which was never intended, i wouldn't have met them. So its kinda great, innit? But that so called basketball thing was a killer. Super out of the blue and so much confusion. I should just spare myself from confusion and just meet her at heartland. It's easier that way.

Anyhow, its kinda weird meeting J and H. Its like i don't know what to say to them anymore. We used to be able to laugh at every little thing that's done or said. Maybe they felt the same way too. There's just too much silence in between. It's as if we are meeting for the first time. This is damn bad. Ok, maybe i've changed. And i'm beginning to think that i did. Oh well, people change, don't they?

So B and i were talking about how great it would be if life's like a dream. Life is being a bitch to us that's why we need to escape! LOL. I swear i wouldn't want to wake up if its like a dream, no seriously.

B: "If its really a dream, you weren't be standing next to me alr"
Me: " Yeah, i'd most prolly be standing next to her"

This is how fucking sad our life is. Gawd, and to think that school's in on Monday. RAHHH!
Ok, that sums up my current life now. I hope it gets better next week.

Oh yes, H(if you're reading this) thanks again for the shirt. Really appreciate it, love you always (You know i do, right from the beginning=D)

On a separate note, i've been walking alot lately. I went to heartland a few days ago and i walked home after that. Sorry SY, its not that i don't want you to walk with me. It's just that i wanna seek solace. It's been real long since i walked home from there. Maybe since i graduated? Well, i was not in the right state of mind since i have alcohol in me. Alcohol doesn't make one forget stuff please. That's bullshit. More like it rake up the past that one have been trying so hard to bury. Well, its the latter for me. I'm gonna quit drinking, need to have a clear headed state of mind. I bet if i tell E that, she'll surely laugh her ass off like i've just told her a joke or smth. HAHAHS. Who am i kidding?

My heart died a long time ago.

2008-06-13T01:38:00.001+08:00

There’s no right or wrong.

Ok, I’m feeling damn talkative right now. There’s this energy in me that’s gonna burst if I don’t do something about it. I shouldn’t have drink that can of beer. Damn, I can kiss my sleep goodbye now. Oh well, I doubt I can get any anyway.

Anyhow, nutty is really cute. She told me how some guy asked her to be his girlfriend. Great that her life is so happening today. Usually she will tell me how bored and lonely she is. It’s damn depressing to hear her say those stuff ‘cause no matter how much I wanted to accompany her, I can’t. She’s too young to go out on her own and I can’t go to her place when she asks me to cos I’m not directly related to her in any way. Ah, this shit dilemma, nobody’s gonna geddit.

Anyway, nutty is mine. Nobody else’s girlfriend but mine, geddit?! HAHAS. She’s beyond words. My power girl(=

Alright, I should probably get some shuteye if I wanna meet E on time tmr. I have this bad habit of being late. I bet my siblings aren’t sleeping yet. I shall go creep up on them later. HAHA! I wanna catch a movie, any takers?!

You took the best part of me.

2008-06-12T22:56:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOEY!

I'm sorry that i couldn't make it for lunch with you. I'll make it up to you okay? We can ask the rest and you can invite that annoying girl too. HAHAHS!

Alright, i am told that Father's day is coming up? Seriously, there is no need for such occasions. They should take away valentine's and mother's day too. I'm a bad kid and lover. HAHAS! It feels just like any other day. What's so special, tell me.

So i went for dinner with the entire clan. Ok, not all was present but still, i hate gatherings. There were many dishes and none of them taste good. But at least it's better than having dumpling for dinner. LOL. I had enough of dumplings x/

I'm feeling so damn pissed but i don't know what's getting on my nerve. Maybe i just need my baby =x I miss that insane girl. I should probably disturb her right now. Alright, till then fuck off.

I wanna kiss you kiss you kiss you.

2008-06-12T00:43:00.009+08:00

Am I doing the right thing?
Is this where I want it to go?
At the end of it, will I have any regrets?
And most of the time I tell myself that it's the right thing to do.
Seriously is this really right?
I'd rather not know.

They say that you'll learn from past mistakes and move on. But why doesn't it apply to me? Obviously I know my mistake at the end of the day but I just can't move on. I'm like glued onto something. Maybe I just refuse to move on. Shit, I have serious issues. I'm way past late night emo-ing but tonight it's different. That's 'cause I miss you.

On a separate note, I'm hungry)= I only have one miserable dumpling for dinner that's cos I don’t fancy 'em and I have tons of them at home. So I'll most prolly have 'em for lunch and snack every single day. It's just like every other year man. I'm kinda scared of eating them alr. HAHA!

Oh yeah, C's friend is really weird. I don't even know her and she added me to msn. Serious shit. Anyhow, E and I happened to know that one of C's senior is J's sister. Gawd, we hate her sister. She's so rude to almost everybody. Unlike J who is so damn nice.

Alright, that's about it.
Off to watch football.

Your love was a lie
And yet I believed

2008-06-10T23:50:00.001+08:00

I saw your bleeding heart.

Lets see now, today is kinda great. I met E and lil Calista after so many zillion years.
HAHA! Ok, I’m exaggerating things. Firstly, thanks E for those great presents. Love ‘em all (= Esp that black shirt. It’s friggin cool please.

So I went to meet C at heartland to have lunch and I swear she is as cute as ever. Had Mac with her since the girl said that it’s been so long since she had that. But I wanted to eat New york, oh well. Perhaps some other time. So we ordered like we had 5 people with us. Had a meal of our own and an extra happy meal ‘cause she wanted the toy. LOL
So obviously we couldn’t finish and she da bao all the extras back. She had a cup of ice-cream after that while E and I couldn’t even walk anymore. C really has a bottomless stomach. Non-stop I’d tell you, really. So we did lotsa catching up and it’s great to know about all her happenings and it felt like it was the first time I met her just that this time her sis wasn’t with her. HAHA! So much fun and I wanna do it again, really.

Went to E’s house again to have sex. LOL. C wanted me to be online so I did. Since we had web cams, we started the video call thingy. I swear its damn bloody hell funny. The thing lags like some shit and it’s as if we are in slow motion. So we basically talk again and stare at each other. HAHA! At one point she wanted me to go to her place to play basketball with her la. Imagine the shock I had when she said that man. I was in Tampiness and her place is like Serangoon. Go all the way down in such an insane weather to play basketball. I didn’t wanna disappoint her but I also didn’t wanna step out of the house at that time so I was kinda in a dilemma but eventually, I turned her down.
-.-

Had bailey with ice-cream at E’s house. It’s damn bloody good I’d tell you. Seriously, this girl has a house full of liquor. Can go open a mini pub. HAHAS! Remember, I will support you!

China stuffs are really weird. The length and width of the shirt doesn’t tally the size at all. Their XL is smaller than their L man. So that means S=XL. I’m wearing XL and E’s wearing L. First time I’m wearing XL man. We had a good laugh over the whole thing.

Might be going to the night safari soon. You know I won’t be going there if not for SY. We went to the zoo just ‘cause she wanted to go and now she wants to go to the safari. Don’t be mistaken, I’m not complaining here. It feels like a kid all over again. The last time I went to the safari was I was a kid in primary school. See how long that was. Hahahas. And I surprised to know that I kinda look forward to that trip with them. Don’t disappoint me now SY. Get the tickets asap!

Oh yes, there’s this long stretch of road in tampiness which is damn friggin romantic since its dimly lighted by only one lamp post. E suggested I should take my girl out to walk that path late in the night. HAHAS! I’m contemplating that since that place is kinda quiet and it’s a friggin neat place to make out (just kidding!) I seriously have to come up with a good excuse to make her go there then since tampiness is so out of the way.

That’s about it. I need to PEE!
Till then.

I just need you to stay.

2008-06-08T20:41:00.003+08:00

I don’t wanna close my eyes.

Lets see now, school's gonna start in another week or so and that means life will prolly be such a bitch.
Don't get me wrong, times spent with those guys are the best but definitely not sitting through lecture.
Ultra boring, really.

I very much prefer to wake up just in time for lunch than for breakfast. Whipping out my PSP from underneath my pillow (yes, I hid it there so that I can play through the entire night) is the best way to kick start the day. I'm really damn addicted to it and I guess that's a bad thing right? I'm trying to limit though but really, I don't see the difference.

I'm not only addicted to PSP but also the PS. I can like spend hours in front of the black box and then spend another few hours on the PSP. I have 3 games at hand and I'm dying to finish it to see the ending. Really, it's damn intriguing so it's damn hard to stop once I'm at it. Ok, this sounds really bad. But in other words, I'm having the time of my life right now.

On a separate note, The Rhythm Of Life ended it's run quite awhile already and the new show sucks. I used to look forward to 9pm but now, I have to find something else to do. Majority of Singapore’s drama sucks big time. Only once in a blue moon a really good drama will pop up and the episodes are so little. Those crappy dramas will have sequels. This, I don’t understand.

Anyhow, my sis borrowed 2 Korean dramas from her friend and so we or rather I will watch it. I don't really fancy Korean dramas since most are so sappy and predictable. Oh well, since there are no nice dramas running, I shall watch those Korean dramas. I shall have a good time teasing my mom and sis while watching it. Reason? Well, they never fail to cry while watching 'em. I don't even think that it's damn emotional till tears will roll. Ok, maybe my heart is solid cold. I shall make it a point to cry when I see 'em crying. LOL

Ah, after typing for so long, I finally remembered what I wanna rant. My mom made my cousin reboot the computer without informing us. OMG, this is really a killer. All files are wiped out. Now I have to take time to download everything back. This is a fucking waste of time you know. I wish she wouldn't mess with the computer ever again and for my bro to stop playing that damn retarded maple game. What's so damn fun about a game when you only press a few keys and it's a 2D game? TSK

Alrighty, I guess that pretty much sums it all. I'm hungry now and have to search for food =/

Till then fuckers
Nah, I'm just kidding.

Burst those bubbles.

2008-06-05T22:56:00.000+08:00

King among kings

BABY, I'M HOME!

Just got home not too long ago and i'm starting to miss Thailand already.

Life there is seriously damn fantastic 'cause the stuff there are relatively cheap and it's damn laid back, maybe 'cause they are an hour behind us.

The cockroaches there also move slower than ours please.

Life is so damn comfortable cos i don't have to move much except to shop and to eat.

We have our own personal driver to ferry us around wherever and whenever we want.

We don't even have to walk back from the main lobby to our villa cos there are buggy to send us to our doorstep.

Really, it's as if we are some king.

Food there is mega fucking awesome!

Cheap and it's a HUGE portion.

Had tons if seafood and local food and obviously their snacks.

Their seafood is friggin fresh and sweet, no where in Singapre can you ever taste seafood that is so close to heaven.

Their prawns, crab, fish,lobster and shells are mother fucking large.

The diameter of their kangkong stem is as big as our 10cent coin.

Our kangkong look as if it's starved when place beside theirs.

Their local Thai food is so different from those in Thai Express.

Food in Thai Express had been altered to cater to our taste.

They lack the smell and taste of spice and herbs.

Their beef noodles and tom yum soup rocked me upside down.

Fucking cannot get enough of it.

Burgers in BK is damn neat and BIG.

They have a triple whooper and its fucking good.

We only have a double whooper la.

Fucking unfair.

Anyway, their sauce is damn thick and the meat is real juicy and tender.

One bite and you're up flying to heaven.

Serious, this is how good it is.

Upsize and everything, it cos ard SGD 9-10 when our double alr cost us that price.

I seriously wanna move over and stay in Thailand.

Alrighty, now the girls(=

Authentic Thai girls are not that good looking after all.

Singaporeans girls can easily beat them hands down.

BUT! not their trannies.

They are super duper fucking gorgeous!

Shut off the fact that they are males with only one hole to fuck and they are awesomez!

Really, i was and many others were ogling at them.

Their boobies are HUGE! (okay, everything in Thailand is huge)

Some flaunt it by, i don't know if you stick or wear nipple tapes, whatever it is, they have absolute nothing to cover it up.

It's just dangling for all to see.

So obviously i just stare la.

Since it's free show, why not right?

HAHA!

Seriously, its damn smooth and tempting (why i say that? Let you know later)

They are really damn mega fucking hot, lotsa people were snapping pictures of them.

It's as if they are some famous super star.

Those trannies are damn inviting please.

They kept gesturing people to take photo with them.

But seriously you can feel that they are fakes cos their boobs are kinda hard.

Not as soft as the same thing.

Yes, i felt it thats why i know.

I didn't purposely touch it or anything okay(not that pervy)

'She' pressed her boobs onto my hand.

Seriously man, i couldn't move when it happened.

It's damn ironic 'cause in Sec school days, touching boobs were normal and it was my uhm, hobby?

HAHA!

At least i didn't have permission whatsoever to touch those boobies in school.

Who in the right mind will let someone touch them freely right?

So allowing you to touch them is an entirely different story.

I was shell-shocked and i wanted to place another hand to those round boobs.

HAHA!

Obviously not, i waned but couldn't draw my hand back.

Best fake boobs ever.

C'mon man, i need to go back there.

Their waist are ultra slim please.

Most are even slimmer that girls.

Actually my main intention was to purchase a hot chick back.

But after seeing those trannies, i changed my mind.

I wanna purchase them instead.

(serious shit)

Most of their authentic Thai girls are social escorts to the caucasians.

I wonder if those caucasians are blind or what.

So dark and ugly also want.

Tsk.

They should really consider those trannies.

HAHA!

Girly girl escorts are normal but 'guy' escorts to female caucasians are so weird.

First, they are so ugly and short.

They don't even come across as guys.

Those female caucasians are way taller than them.

And its damn hard looking at a fucking good looking lady pair herself up with a not even good looking short butch.

And suddenly i wanted to take over the place of those Thai butches.

LOL

I wanna be an escort to those ladies too(=

Lovely partner for a few days is good (no commitment just pure bliss)

No difference from a gigolo.

HAHAS.

There's a huge number of gays and lesbians.

All are caucasians.

The gays are seriously damn funny and gross.

The lesbians are pretty alright.

Some are friggin good looking tgt.

Next up is shopping.

Their malls are big and damn classy.

Bought tons of shirts, shoes, bags and accessories.

They have social escorts, they also should have guys to help people to carry their shopping bags.

HAHA!

I hate to carry shopping bags you see.

Ah, the security guards are damn funny.

They salute to all tourist please.

Friggin cool.

The elephant trekking is damn cool.

Sat there for about an hour and the breeze and scenery is indescribable.

elephants are really gentle creatures.

Gawd, i could almost fall asleep on it, not for those annoying dragon flies.

There were so many of them ard and i always had a heart attack whenever one fly damn closely to me.

Thank god, i'm so high up there.

Our villa is only a 5-10 mins walk to the beach.

It's damn cool, the whole club is situated at the beach itself.

Wayyy beautiful.

Their service really lived up to its name man.

So the beach in the morning and evening when its not so crowded is damn beautiful.

While standing there, i suddenly wished that you were beside me.

I bet the whole scene would be perfect and breath taking if you were there.

Oh yes, their booze is damn cheap.

It's like buying coke from cheers.

Bet E will love it there man.

Drink till she drop dead.

But the thing is, the pub is so packed with those caucasians so its not that fun to drink there.

Also, there are so many bar top dancers.

See till i forgot how to blink man.

HAHAHAS!

The only thing that i hate abou Thailand is the travelling.

The distance from one place to another is mother fucking long.

Their near is like 30mins?!

I always end up sleeping in the mini van.

LoL.

The other thing is their tuk tuk(taxi) drivers.

Keep yelling to people to take their taxi.

So annoying.

But i kinda like their taxi name.

TUK TUK!

Alrighty, thats all for now.

I need to sleep.

Lord of the sickos

2008-05-25T18:29:00.000+08:00

Sad songs for dirty lovers.

I finally got my many hours of shuteye.

It feels damn good to wake up late but just in time for dinner.

Sleep is good.

So E's housewarming is pretty impressive.

Tons of food and booze.

It's a pity i didn't get to drink E's concoction of vodka and something else which i can't remember.

The food that they ordered was as if they are feeding a small army.

Huge amount of leftovers.

We did a little dirty act and unfortunately the bed couldn't stand our weight and the plank underneath broke.

HAHA!

It's damn funny, we literally sank down when the plank gave way.

We were playing Uno and as usual i was disturbing her and it happened.

It never came across me to at all that it will happen la.

I thought only sex will break that plank.

I'm so sorry E, i promise to be more gentle the next time round.

This sounds wrong.

LOL

There's this super mega annoying cousin of hers.

Tried to be funny and apparently he failed.

Annoyed the shit outta me and sprayed droplets of saliva onto me.

WTF

He will make great friends with SY but he seems to be more attracted to disturbing me rather than her -.-

I'm not good with kids especially annoying ones.

They are so hard to handle and they talk too much.

On a separate note,

I will be going to Gardens with my mom and sis tmr.

It's been so long since i last set foot there.

Mud pie, here i come.

Alrighty, i will be heading out to have dinner real soon.

I'm starving.

Am i too late to catch the sun rise?

2008-05-24T00:12:00.001+08:00

You still make my heart race.

It’s supposed to be rather quiet now since it’s gonna be midnight soon.
But no, it isn’t at all.
Fucked up neighbor of mine is blasting his damn teevee.
Doesn’t he realize that it’s bloody late already and most people are sleeping now?
Damn, he must be deaf or something.

Frigging have the urge to hurl something into his flat since he stays opposite of me.
Maybe I will do just that someday.

On a lighter note,
I should be heading in a few hours back since I didn’t get my fair share of shuteye.
I went to bed at 4am and i’m up by 10.
I’m surprised to know that I can still go about doing my usual stuff.
I AM POWER!
LOL.

Anyhow, i’m still hyped over Man Utd’s victory.
Van Der Sar, you’re the man!
HAHA.

On a separate note,
You seriously should quit apologizing to me.
I’ve heard that word so many times till it doesn’t even worth 2 cents.
I’m immune to it.
It doesn’t even make a difference if you say it or not.
It never would’ve worked out even if I tried.
So now, I’m done trying.

I seriously should get some sleep now if I don’t wanna feel like shit tmr.
I just hope that I can wake up and get changed in time.

Quit messing around with my emotions.

2008-05-22T23:00:00.002+08:00

I'm yours.

Channel 8 9pm show is pretty sappy.
Thanks to Chen Xiao Rou.

Been really busy with all the up coming papers and all.
And boy, i seriously don't have the time to update.
Thank god for a little breather.

Manchester United beat Chelsea 6-5 in a penalty shootout.
(Do a victory dance)
This classmate of mine was really nuts over the whole match.
But it's okay cause she supports Man U too(=

My throat is giving me some serious shit problem.
Must be the result of those irresistible junk food.
The amount of junk i consume in a day is, monstrous?
God, please don't let me have a fever.
I promise to donate to those victims in Sichuan and Myanmar.
Pretty pretty pretty please, before i eat up the cherry on top.

On a separate note,
My mom is kinda paranoid about leaving Singapore.
Can't blame since there are two huge disasters and
The place that we're heading is kinda near to that two countries.
And my dad is doing his job to assure her that nothing bad will happen.
And i must say he is doing a damn good job at it.

School is alright but that annoying girl is being such a bitch.
V no. 2
I don't like to talk to her and J keeps asking me to be nice and talk to her.
Lol.
J is really nice to almost everyone.
Too bad, i can't be like her.
I'm not nice at all and so i will not try to be.
So i hate people giving that look and the fucked up tone when they say please, to have their way.
And she friggin like to use it on me.
I can be nice once or twice but don't expect me to keep giving in just because you say that disgusting please of yours.
Cross my very limited limitations and i won't play nice.
And teasing has it's own boundaries, innit?
She keeps teasing me and i fucking hate it.
Gawd, get away from me.

On a lighter note,
I am damn mega hungry now.
I had a heavy meal with E a mere few hours back and my stomach feels empty.
If E knows about it, she is gonna laugh at me.

Psp time!

I think of you, i dream of you
I conjure you up when i need you the most.
Pathetic? Hell yeah

2008-05-15T17:54:00.000+08:00

Today is one mega fucking ugly day.

2008-05-14T18:27:00.001+08:00

Hate is safer than love.

Someone post this question about having a time machine and whether I would change any event in my life.
And it seriously got me thinking. (pst, you knew I would ponder about it. Arse)
So yes, I wanna go back and change or maybe add a closure to two events.
I didn’t give that two events which were the most important and treasured part of me a proper closure.
Given a chance, I rather end it all in a good note than to change the whole thing and make sure that those histories were erased.

Let see, I was selfish and I just left without saying a word.
This can already condemn me to hell.
To think at that point of time I was such a jerk.
Can’t really blame her since I didn’t show her any appreciation or love so she kinda went off with another.
Didn’t give her a chance to explain and I walked away without turning back.
Wanna go back and tell her that I’m was being such an arse and I fucking don’t deserve whatever she had done for me.
She deserves way better and I will let her go properly to find whatever she needs.

The second, hmm..
It was a real bad parting.
We were not together at all so it’s kinda hard.
Let’s just say anger and jealousy got the better of me. (It’s dumb, I know)
So I wanna head back and tell her that whatever decision and reason she wanna give,
I’ll be fine with it.
Not gonna turn away from her neither will I hate her for it.
Yeah, at one point of time I seriously don’t understand that’s why hatred surfaced.
So, she too deserve way better.
At least I understand whatever she had said now when it used to be just some excuses to me.
I didn’t get to say this to you at all so I might just as well say it here since time machine doesn’t exist.
I love you, always did from the very beginning.

Histories made us who we are now.
So I damn hell have to live with a room of regrets and learn from them.
And now I fucking hate those idiots who are trying to clone this and that.
Might as well channel their time and energy to invent a time machine.
Living things are all special, what’s the friggin point of making a duplicate?

This is one lengthy post.
Thanks fill-in-the-blank for this question uh. (note the sarcasm)
It’s my turn to ask you back now(=

Okay now on a brighter note.
Mother’s day dinner went down pretty ugly.
The food was horrible.
Thanks to my uncle.
We drank some horrible vegetable soup which my grandmother can cook way better.
Seriously, who goes to the restaurant to drink soup?
Prolly only him.

And god knows why this year the dishes are so little.
It wasn’t enough to fill my stomach much less my brother.
We were complaining all the way home.
-.-
Our stomach is a bottomless pit.

To make up for that pathetic dinner, my dad is gonna bring us to his resort club to have Japanese food(=
He can prepare to sew up his pockets after the meal.
HAHA!

I dream about a girl whose a mix of Destiny's Child
Just little touch of Madonna's wild style
With Janet Jackson's smile, throw in a body like Jennifer's
You got the star of my liquid dreams

Angelina Jolie's lips to kiss in the dark
Underneath Cindy C's beauty mark
When it comes to the test well Tyra's the best
And Salma Hayek brings the rest

Trust this feeling.

2008-05-09T17:15:00.001+08:00

When your heart is dead.

Finally the long awaited pictures.
E took a loooong time to send it.
Anyway, thanks Pal!

Now you have a pic of us(=

This is damn random, the auntie was kinda pissed. LOL

I'm trying to sleep and i look damn gay.

LOL

Sexy uh

Spot that 1 strannd of white hair. HA

Sy you look damn retarded!

Sorry, there's a really hot girl standing there.

Drunktart

Gandbound forced me to this

PL lites love taking pics in the toliet (proven)

Our mess

Sy with the trash

This is one hard tit

I was bored thus, THIS

Thats all(=

I took damn long to put it up.

On a separate note,
Will be having dinner with my grandparents and all.
The reason?
Mother’s day.
Total waste of time but I guess I can bear those torturous hours sitting there starring and listening to their crap.
For food, anything is possible!
LOL

So H went away today and I can’t wait for her to get back.
Soon its my turn to be away(=
And it will be my turn to get stuff back for her.
I’m fully prepared for her long list of items since I gave her mine.
HAHA!

And to this someone.

You know i won't cook cos my cooking sucks

And i won't cook for anyone else but myself anymore.

Long story so stop asking.

I will buy it for you okay?

It will surely taste way better than my cooking.

I promise one day i will and you have to eat it up even if it taste like shit.

HAHA!

Till then.

Sorrow is my soulmate.

2008-05-04T23:59:00.001+08:00

Awesome!

Today saw me celebrating Sy’s birthday.
Ah ma, you better use that condom okay.
It’s damn power and uhm, very safe?
LOL

So we went to Terminal 3 and act like some friggin tourist
Who live in the mountainous area.
It’s really huge.

Went Gardens to eat our all time favourite stingray.
And some lala thingy.
Yummy(=
Oh yes we met Ganbound (of all people) and the two Rs.

We weren’t full at chomp chomp so we went ice café(?)
To eat fondue and some liquor mudpies.
It’s damn mega fucking good.
And Ganbound was there -.-

Next stop, happy daze.
To drink.
We didn’t drink much just 2 pints in total.
That wasn’t so bad right?
Ah ma’s face was damn friggin red.
Like some baboon backside.
HAHA!
And she was really damn high.
We played some stupid drinking game and it’s fucking funny.
Someone play that game with me!
I need to master it.
LOL

On a separate note,
Sy wanted a friggin weighing machine for her birthday present
And we don’t know where to get a decent one.
Best of all, she wanted a round and cute weighing machine.
Where on earth can we find one that fits her description?
So we got her a bag, two shirts and a box of condom.
HAHA!
Babe, pls want a decent item the next time man.
Tsk.
First time somebody ask me for a weighing machine sia.

Oh yes, about the kiss which was our deal,
Too bad that you forgot about it so no kiss for you.
HEHEH.
See if either of us can remember.
Till then.

Now the pictures.
Just rip it off if you don't have it.
I'm lazy to send it =p
But E, you've got to send it to me since you have most of it plus
You don't have a blog.
So send me and i post it up for them.
Save you lotsa time man.

Before drinking.

Drink, drink, drink!

And there you have, a monkey backside.

E, you look damn drunk here you drunktart

1 pint

Our smiley man

This is damn good!

You're 10 this year(=

Wait, wait, wait, it's melting with wax all over.

So out next trip will be to the night safari.

I wonder what we will see when its so friggin dark.

but one thing i know for sure, we will be food to the mozzies.

-.-

Time can't erase a feeling this strong.

2008-05-01T21:36:00.001+08:00

The Games That Play Us.

Okay, let’s see,
The last two weeks of April saw me,
Attending two dinner dates,
Trip to East Coast Park and,
The zoo.

The trip to the zoo is really damn sudden.
I swear I just wanted to have breakfast with SY on a Tue morning
And she suddenly bomb me with this question,
“Can we go to the zoo, pls?”
Friggin last minute.
And yes, we went with Elsie too.

Sadly we didn’t manage to catch those shows ‘cause
Elsie wanted to queue for B&J.
The queue was damn bloody mega fucking long.
And the ice-cream sucks.
It was melting and I threw more that a quarter away.

The weather was unbearably hot that day.
And the place stinks.
Now you know why I hate to go to the zoo.
And the kids there are like wild animals on the run.

Oh yes, I saw the cutest girl ever at heartland mall.
And that is CALISTA!
Geez, she’s still as cute as ever.
So I abandon SY for her.
HAHA.
Walked her and her maid to the taxi stand.
And I swear her maid is damn funny.
She told Calista to ask me whether I wanted to accompany her (calista) home.
Yeah, I haven’t seen her in a long while.
So seeing her is the highlight of that day(=

On a separate note,
I just came home from dinner at Gardens.
It’s damn satisfying ‘cause my mom ordered lotsa food and the best thing was,
We didn’t have to wait for a table although it was damn crowded.
My dad saw a vacant table and being a Singaporean,
He dashed towards it and sat down.
LOL
So the moral of the story is,
Chiong-ing saves time.
Lol

My broiee and I each drank a huge glass of sugar cane.
It was damn friggin shiok.
BURP~

So someone is turning 17 on Sunday.
What on earth do you want?
Name it and I will FedEx it in your dream.
LOL
I seriously don’t know what you need or want.
Throw me a hint, an obvious one pls.
I hate puzzles ’cause I’m slow.
Hahahs.
If I don’t get your hint by Saturday,
You can kiss your present from me, goodbye.
HAHA!
Ah ma, your grandkid needs a good spanking right now.

To wish impossible things.

2008-04-22T20:57:00.001+08:00

You seriously need to fuck off before I hate and dread your every arrival.

On a brighter note,
Had dinner with B and Sy earlier at White Tangerine.
The food was edible but B was a little sick so she didn’t manage to finish it.
Okay, to be exact, she only had one mouthful.

H, you owe me big time!
And yes, I am mad at you.
Pfffft.

A whole day of science tmr.
I’m not looking forward to it at all.
I might just skip school tmr.
LOL

A is really sweet.
She bought me chocolates to cure my Tuesday blues.
Okay babe, I owe you one now.
Tell me what you want before I change my mind.
HAHAHS!

I can't stop you when your mind is set on leaving

2008-04-19T20:11:00.000+08:00

I’m heading back to those good times for a day.
Will you come with me?

Since I slept rather late last night,
It’s normal to wake up late like ard 1 plus
But, I woke up at 11am.
All thanks to A.
Some good morning msg from her
((*^&$@)!
I swear her good morning and night msges are a killer.
I’m gonna kill her when I see her on Mon.
-smirks

I wanted to head out today but I find myself glued in front of the computer.
I don’t even know what the hell I’ve been doing.
It’s boring online and I’m kinda sick of those games.
I wonder why I reject those invitations to head out.

Hilda quick be available!
I want and I need to date you(=
We will catch a movie or something and do crazy stuff like we used to.

On a separate note,
I saw the two Rs at heartland yesterday.
It’s been so long since I last saw her.
It was good.

Heartland seems strange to me.
I used to refuse to be any where near it since some stuff happened.
But when I look back now, it’s kinda stupid.
But at that time, heartland holds too much of her.
I could almost see her in every corner of heartland.
Maybe I’ve stuff all those to the back of my head but whenever I step into heartland,
She appeared.
So I’m thankful that I don’t have much business to do at heartland only the occasional short trips there to meet Hilda.

Alright I’m way past that now since it has already been so long. (I’m trying to kid myself here)
And if miracles do happen, they will already happen.

On a brighter note,
I wanna go for a run.
To clear some stuff from my head and I’m feeling heavy these days.
But sadly I can’t.
My heart will protest and it leaves me in pain.
It’s unbearable and I fucking don’t need an attack to remind me of it.
But I seriously miss running.
I will get better.
HA!

I’ll try to be whoever you want
I’ll try to give whatever you need
I’ll change what habits that you hate
I’ll be a better man for you
I’ll be the first that you turn to
I’ll never hurt you
I’ll assure you everyday that I love you
All I ask is for a chance.
Let me in.

If I really did the first 3, I won’t even know myself anymore.
So screw that.

Previous post reminds me of those good and heart wrenching days.

2008-04-17T15:22:00.001+08:00

The way back home is through you

It’s surprising to know that going to the supermarket is so interesting.
I went there with my mom to get some stuff for dinner
And I witness 2 interesting situations.

Both involved cutting queues.
This ahma was scolding a woman for asking her son to cut her queue.
It wasn’t so bad since the woman went to the back to queue
But the other “queue cutter” is fucking annoying.
He is a CHINA man.
He told the woman that he is only paying for one newspaper and the woman was so annoyed since she had been queuing for ages.
Knowing that all eyes are on him, he still squeeze his’s mega fucking fat body to be in line.
This proves that cheena people sucks.

I was asking my mom
“Cool, do you get to see this everyday?”

I must make it a point to go to the supermarket every now and then.
There are jokers everywhere.
On a separate note,
I’m really gonna purchase a hot girl from Thailand soon.
Text me anything you want me to get back.
The stuff are cheap and I most prolly will live like a king for a week or so(=
I will find my Queen there.
HOHO.
And no, it will not be a tranny.
I assure you guys that she will be a real woman with boobs that shake.
LOL

You won't find me there

2008-04-16T18:55:00.000+08:00

The hero dies in this one.

I had a satisfying breakfast at Mac before heading over for science lesson.
The old man sucks as usual.
The entire time we were stoning.
Gawd, he is one boring man.

Tmr I will be seeing A again.
God, help me.
I don’t know how to handle an expert flirt.
She likes to text me at ungodly hour just to tell me to pee.
My god, doesn’t she know that I value sleep more than anything else?
She affects my quality of sleep and sleep is a huge part of my life.
LOL

Flirting is not my forte.
HAHA
Who will believe that?

On a separate note,
I can’t wait to get out of Singapore for a short trip.
God, I need to get away.
And I might soon(=

Baby, tell me how can I tell you
That I love you more than life
Show me how can I show you
That I'm blinded by your light
When you touch me I can touch you
To find out the dream is true
I love to be loved by you

2008-04-15T17:20:00.001+08:00

Woah, Back Down.

I thought I’ve had enough of you but lately
Something screwed itself up and I..miss you.
I’m brought 2 years back where every single day contained you.
Those endless thoughts of holding you close came flooding back.
I’m going over the edge and I swear I want none of this to resurface.

If there’s just one memory I don’t want to lose will be
your smile.

I know my voice is silence to your ears
I know I said some things you didn’t deserve to hear
I miss you, God I miss you, why do I miss you?
I lie at night kicking at the sheets
No matter how much I try they never cover my feet
I need you, God I need you, Why do I?
I finally gathered up the strength
To get through the days

Don’t throw it all away.
Please

2008-04-10T20:25:00.000+08:00

Crash into you

Does those China arse know what the fuck they are doing?
I was sleeping and suddenly my phone rang.
I was already cursing while half awake.

Me: Hello?

China woman: Hello, ni hao wo shi..Yada Yada (rapping one load of crap to me)

Me: (I was wondering how hao can somebody be when abruptly woken up by some crap) Huh? (I couldn’t catch a word after “wo shi”)

China woman; Hello, hello

Me: Yes? (getting annoyed)

China woman: Dui bu qi wo you mei you da jiao ni?

Me: You, wo zai shui jiao

China woman: Shui jiao ah, na wo ji dian cai zai da lai?

Me: Really, don’t bother.

(hang up on her and sleep)

Note: I don't know if my hanyu pinying makes any sense. It's already my best. LOL

Seriously, I don’t even know why I even bother to entertain her.
Normally people will just hang up immediately.
I must be out of my freaking mind.
At least they should learn how to talk at a normal speed.
Who the fuck can catch whatever they are saying at such insane speed, really.
Now I’m gonna be real careful with calls that flash Private.
It might be some annoying scammer again.

On a separate note,
I’m saving like mad to get a PSP.
But I find it damn hard to save.
All thanks to dinner dates.
They friggin burn a huge hole in my pockets whenever I’m out eating.
Sheesh, no more dinner dates for me till I get my hands on that sleek machine.
I want it real badly)=

When you love somebody
And they break your heart
Don’t give up on love
Have faith, restart
Just hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on

When it falls apart
And your feeling lost
All your hope is gone
Don’t forget to hold on, hold on

How the heck can one hold on when the heart is dead?
Enlighten me please.

2008-04-07T14:55:00.003+08:00

Lost cause.

I caught The Bucket List
and it was mother hell boring, oh my gawd, please do not watch it.
It isn't that funny at all.

So Pasir Ris was good i guess.
My butt hurts like fuck after that.
The adventure park sucks, it shrank due to the revamp.

Dinner at Gardens again.
I got her number by asking her if she wanted to have some hot sex.
HAHA
Of cos i didn't say that, i'm very much sane when i asked.
But i can still ask her since i have her number(=
Hmmm..maybe tonight.
LOL

On a separate note,
I've got a feeling this week is gonna be one hell of a madhouse again.
SHIT

Just hold on

2008-04-02T16:40:00.000+08:00

Take it all back.

School has been a madhouse this week.
Tons of essays and god knows what projects are coming up.
Thank god its Thursday tmr.
My weekends are not the usual 2 days anymore.
An extra day for me to get kinky.
LOL

We were a little lazy to attend science class in the morning
So we went to Mac to have breakfast for about 1 hour plus before heading to class.
We just went into class as if we weren’t late at all.
But thank god the ole’ man didn’t had fits and start questioning us.
Maybe he’s in a good mood(=
I hope he is in a damn good mood everyday.
To think that Joey felt guilty about him being old and all.

On a separate note,
Outing with THEM on Friday and dinner with zhu at happy daze(:
I’m looking forward to the outing than the dinner.
Have to do something crazy and far from normal. (For me at least)
But I can finally eat there with zhu and not having her working while I’m eating.
BABE, I MISS YOU SERVING ME!

I heard The Bucket List is fucking boring.
And I will be watching it -.-
I don’t have a choice since my dad’s company booked the whole cinema for that show -.-
Hell, they must be fucking rich to give us free tickets.
I didn’t understand why of all shows it must be Bucket list since there’s like tons of kids and I bet the show will bore them to death.
And so my dad said that only the managerial sector is going.
Hell shit, means it’s a fucking formal event and I hate formal events when you have to look sane and all.
I can’t look sane for nuts.
Someone save me.

Hello gorgeous, can I have your number please?
So that I can update my “A phone call away for SEX” phone list.
I swear you will be in the top priority every night.
(Zhu, this will surely work! HAHA)

2008-03-31T15:29:00.001+08:00

I screw the best thing ever.

My dad woke us up in the morning yesterday.
He didn’t even check the damn time.
He came home from god knows where and woke everyone up at 9am.
9am on a Sunday morning.
He can’t understand that it’s Sunday for us all to sleep in.
So we dragged ourselves up to have breakfast.

Had breakfast and all and when we got home, everyone went back to sleep.
We were so damn tired so my dad, bro and I just lie on the floor and sleep.
My sis had the sense to climb into bed.

On a separate note,
Valerie came back today.
And Fahriz gave me that smug look.
Okay dude, you didn’t chase her away BUT
She might be back because of you
-grins
For some reason, she learned how to shut up.
Even though she’s in class, she doesn’t shout the answers or talk loudly.
Something’s very wrong with this woman.
HAHA

We are such assholes.
She talk loudly and use people’s phone, we say she’s weird.
Now she doesn’t even talk and take people’s phone, we also say she’s weird.
We are so hard to please.
-

I stare up at the stars
I wonder just where you are
You feel a million miles away
Was it something I said?
Or something I never did?
Or was I always in the way?
Could someone tell me what to say to just make you stay?

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cause every time I get stuck the words don’t fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I’ll need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one’s heard yet
Cause every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I don't mind losing my sanity.

2008-03-29T15:34:00.001+08:00

Fullstop.

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY ROZAND!

I saw this e-mail in my inbox again so I’ve decided to change it a lil.
This happens when I’m fucking bored.

When a girl is quiet, million of things are running through her head.
(yeah right, she’s just probably too tired or simply ignoring you)

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply
(she might be thinking ‘ hell, here it goes again’ and shut up)

When a girl is looking at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around
(full of qn? HA!)

When a girl answers ‘I’m fine’ after a few seconds, she is not at all fine
(okay, I accept this)

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying
(Must be some chilli sauce at the corner of your mouth!)

When a girl lies on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever
(Checking to see if you’re muscular or not)

When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered
(Yeah! and burn a big hole in your pockets)

When a girl says ‘I love you’, she means it
(HAHA, it depends)

When a girl says ‘I miss you’, no one in this world can miss you more than that
(Yeah, she misses being pampered by you. There goes your wallet)

To sum it up, girls are friggin complicated.

I’ve ran out of patience.

2008-03-27T16:29:00.000+08:00

This is entirely new,
SOMEBODY RESCUE ME.

2008-03-25T14:12:00.001+08:00

How can I make it up to you?

So many have proven to me that I have zero capabilities when it comes to that one thing, LOVE.
Obviously there’s concrete evidence or else I wouldn’t admit to it.

I left the first, using my selfish excuse.
But as I look back now, it’s the best I’ve ever done.
The worst part of her, was me.

The second, hmm..I didn’t even know what the hell I wanted so I just left it as it is.

The third, I don’t know if it’s just me or her.
But since I couldn’t make her stay, it shows that I can’t give any promises or securities.

The fourth, it was my mistake.
Too rash and I was a jerk.
She was a little helpless since I didn’t give her a reason when I walked away.

And so they all didn’t stay.

Now you know why I can’t promise you anything?
The above are the reasons.
I don’t want to make another mistake and have to live with it.
I know you will most probably tell me that life is too short to weigh this kinda stuff, I know that too.
But, I can’t.

Frankly, love doesn’t exist for me anymore.
Maybe I had enough of it and I swear I can survive without it now.
So don’t throw it at my face cos I’m unable to handle it.
Maybe I can in the past but not now.

I’ve played many games before so I kinda got the hang of it.
So this time round, it’s my game and my rules.

Okay, I know you will want to hear this.
Give me some time to work this out.

-

Shit, I’m going nuts all over again.
To hell with love.
I’m going out now.

It’s a maze, full of dead ends, wrong turns and potholes.
This is love

2008-03-24T17:57:00.001+08:00

Monday..Blues

Now it’s screwed all over again.
Just when I’ve gotten used to waking up early, weekends screwed it all up for me.
Or maybe, just maybe, I like dragging myself outta bed every Monday morning.
HA!

Thank god it’s Tuesday tmr.
I can finally get my phone back.
All contacts are gone so please text me so I can re-update.
So tmr’s a chance to sneak out and fool around.
HAHA

On a separate note,

We kinda chased this classmate of ours away.
Felt like a bad arse but when she comes back, it’s a whole new different story.
See Fahriz, it’s all your fault.
She likes you and you reject her, get the whole thing?!
That’s what THEY say.
HAHAH.
Okay, the whole class who detest her. (Including me)

Anyhow, the weekends were crap.
I spent it with my mom and obviously my sibs.
It’s okay if she brings us to the malls but, we went for some talk that lasted for more than 3 hours.
Somewhat like listening to that damn Big bird or maybe worse -.-
Bad weekend.

So they say.

2008-03-14T20:23:00.002+08:00

You were right there in my dream
I could smell your alluring scent, hear your laughter
And the closeness of your skin brushing against mine
But for some reason, I couldn’t reach out to you no matter how hard I tried
I screamed for you but you couldn’t hear me at all
And I woke up realizing that even in reality; I couldn’t reach out to you too.

Damn, this is one hell of a nightmare.

Tonight i'm having that kind of feeling i had for you when we first met 3 years ago.
I'll have you know tonight i've miss you real badly when you were away and still is now.

2008-03-12T22:23:00.001+08:00

Bring it on, you whipped pussies.

God, I’m having serious moods swing these days.

Better post something happy.

It’s damn annoying when you tell someone how pissed off you are, and they LAUGH.
Is it that funny?

Where’s their sensitivity

Right up my arse.

Okay that didn’t come across as happy.
Shit.

On a brighter note, I damn hell want to catch a movie.
Whatever show it doesn’t matter, at all cost.
Zhu, it’s your turn to date me now.
Hurry up, I’m DYING to go out with you and I promise to be real good and treat you to that MUNCHY donut(x
I know you love them to the max.

I went to Gardens again to accompany Zhu to work and to eat.
I swear the boss hates B and me cos when we are there, customers for some shit reason dip.
We played dare or double dare and we have to hit on zhu’s colleague.
My task was easy, I just had to pass some weird looking paper figuring to her.
B’s task was pretty alright too, she just had to go up to the girl and ask for her no.
But sadly, she didn’t.
Don’t act shy! Kidding.

-

I finally fix that rubik cube.
God, i swear my name will be in the book of records too.
People have the record for the fastest time in solving a rubik cube and me,
the SLOWEST.
I took 3 bleedy days and I finally solve it.
Imagine this, The record for the slowest time goes to UNCLE WONG.
I will be famous, hahahah

Check this out,

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid tooCna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it

Well, I bet Xiaobao can't read it. HAHAHAHA
If you're wondering why I said that.
She can't decipher typos, not a single one.

I saw you in my dream.

2008-03-02T22:43:00.002+08:00

Honey, I am home
Take a look at our body.
Muscular uh. HAHA
Well, zoom in onto our dicks please.
Doesn't it look huge and hard?! -.-

The rest of the pictures are at Xiaozhu's blog(:

Anyhow, this leap year is great, probably the best ever.
Finally went on a movie date with that pig.
We caught L change the world and I swear I kept wondering if I’m watching a horror movie or not.
The chao ta man with blood shot eyes is damn horrible.
I hate it when he suddenly appears.
Scare the shit outta me.

I swear Xiaozhu is damn retarded whenever she’s at Cathay.
Still remember the escalator?!
HAHA

So we went PS later on to waste our time away since its pretty early.
But only for a fucking short time as they were all closing.
Gave ourselves cheap entertainments like the one above.
And xiaozhu, whats with that face in the last pic uh?!
Too squeezy eh.
All your fault!
HAHA

Babe, i promise we will do it again.
Hopefully soon if time allows(:

Guess what,
I miss YOU so much right now(:

Case closed.

2008-02-22T18:12:00.001+08:00

Is this a new tear, or just another desperation.

I wanna head over to Gardens.
Everyone’s pretty laid back and relaxed.

I’ll be going to bugis again, yes, AGAIN.
With my sis and probably beng.
I wanna buy that Vans shoe.
I think it’s on impulse.
But who gives a damn about it.
HAHA

Wanted to catch a movie or two with Zhu ALMIGHTY this week.
But it seems like Ms Almighty is uber busy with her job at “holy” hour.
Damn, I have to wait another week and still, I’m place on a waiting list in her schedule):
Look pig, I’m giving you this face => ))=

Quick text me the whole list of movies that you wanna catch.
I have like one whole freaking week to slowly choose man.
And I wanna eat Pepper Lunch!
Let’s go, let’s go.

On a separate note, I might be heading to china in another month’s time.
I’m fucking not excited about it.
Why? Tell me how do I survive in a chinese country?!
I think I’m starting to back out.
HAHA.

You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that i'll protect you
From all the obscene

2008-02-17T18:26:00.000+08:00

Hey lovely devil

I’ve decided to get off my lazy ass to update a little.
Well, life’s been pretty much the same.
BORING.
I seriously need something good to do instead of wasting my damn life away.

On a brighter note, V’day was good.
But that damn candle thingy did not work out well.
Ah, at least that pig didn’t complain about it.
So she had to take home 300 candles.
Babe, you’re gonna burn till you die(:

And to this Beng (new name from xiaozhu)
Don’t ever ever try to go after a straight man.
Not that she not worth your time or effort.
It’s just that somehow or rather she will return to her normal state much quicker.
But you can just go for it still if you play it right.
And you’ve got to be prepared for the crappiest excuse when she’s through with it(:
So all the best and give no shits to those who objects( her mom. HAHA!)
And, stop smoking!

Okay cousin, I will answer your question here(:

You’re the guy so obviously you have to pop the question la.
You expect the girl to do it uh?
If you really do then you have to be prepared to wait for eternity unless your girl is the damn initiative kind.
So just go, “wanna steady nottttt?”
A little direct, you have to improvise but with the same meaning eh.
A little obvious will do you good. I know better -.-

And for your second question, if you ask her that and if she didn’t reject or did, you have your answer la.
Simple right?
So hurry ask or you’ll never know the answer and she might just slip away.

Seriously I can’t believe you’re asking me.
I’m damn slow in and uhm not very successful with affairs of the heart. HAHA!
Well, all the best yeah.

I’m never going back.

2008-02-14T15:22:00.000+08:00

Always and forever.

Today’s Valentine’s Day!

Yup another overrated occasions,
like Chinese New Year.
And it’s also a brutal reminder to,
All who’s single!

Single has its advantages but,
I won’t go into that now.

So to those who are in love, stay in love!
Be thankful that you can add to the sickening love sick atmosphere.
I seriously don’t understand why couples must only show their appreciation to their partners on this day of the year.
If you’re in love, everyday is Valentine’s Day right?

The price of one stalk of rose is atrocious.
Why will anyone buy it?
It’s equivalent to one plate of chicken rice.
Or maybe even more.
So imagine buying just 3 stalks without having it gift wrapped or whatever you call it,
it will already cost 3 plates of chicken rice.
No chicken rice for 3 whole days (yeah, it’s a fucking big deal to me.)
Chicken rice=Life HAHAHS
So you can’t possibly give 3 stalks to your girlfriend right?
A lil unglam.
Therefore you will have to pay more to have it wrapped nicely and that means more days without chicken rice!

Using that amount of money to buy something practical for her is wayyy better.
I think Xiaozhu agrees with me(:
Right babe?

Anyhow, I’m gonna spend my day with Xiaozhu since i’m married to no other except her (I’m not complaining here)
It’s damn annoying to know that she will be spending 6 hours or so with that Anne.
That bloody butch should just rest for the day and take her stupid girlfriend out.
Maybe her girlfriend rather spends her day with her father than with her. HAHA!

Okay so I will fetch her from work later but that’s after I make her treat me to that death chocolate ice-cream.
You can say I’m dying to eat that since 2 days ago?

Alrighty, I pray hard that everything will turn out perfectly well.

If you want me to wait,
I will wait for you
If you tell me to stay,
I would stay right through
If you don’t wanna say anything at all,
I’m happy wondering

2008-02-11T21:31:00.000+08:00

King of the road

I’m so freaking pissed with some shit.
Why should I even send those pictures to them in the bloody first place?!
Damnit.
(^@#(*_@!

On a lighter note, I had a crazy and urber hardccore sex at zhu’s place ytd.
Damn, it was good =D
She blamed me for making her hot and tired.
But fact is, she made me damn hot and tired plus, my whole body is aching like mad now.
See how powerful I am? -.-

So it’s gonna be Vday soon.
Damnit, I just got loads of cash now I have to part with them cause I have to get SOMEONE (yes, you!) a present or I will be labeled as a bad husband.
And freaking don’t want to be labeled as that.

I don’t even know what to get la.
I’m doom.
Throw me some ideas cause I’m running out of them.
So, HELP

I did something really bad today, I’m gonna receive an express ticket to hell.
Sheesh, anybody wanna join me?

No second chance.

2008-02-10T01:09:00.000+08:00

You are my beautiful disaster.

It’s been a crazy 3 days man.
Chinese New Year sure killed me, with boredom.

First and second day sure isn’t worth the space here. So I will just skip it.
But I must say that my ang baos are damn good this year(:
So this year’s gathering is at my place and I don’t really like it ‘cause its so messy and noisy.
Plus, I hate to entertain people or maybe my cousins and nephew.
They keep wanting me to play with them and I seriously can’t possibly play with all at the same time.
Gawd, it’s damn tiring.

Thank god, they just left not long ago.
Ah, the house is quiet once again.
I can finally watch some dvds and have a cold beer all to myself.

My uncles seriously think that they’re transparent or something.
Keep standing right in front of the tv and prevent people from watching with their big butt.
FREAKING WANNA HURL ORANGES AT THEM.

So my nephew almost killed my hamster.
He keep trying to hold it, I mean grab it.
I couldn’t even bare to look at the way he handle it.
Thank god my bro was keeping an eye on him or else, that the end of my hammie.

On a separate note, I’m looking forward to going to baby’s hse later in the day when the sun is up. Hahahas.
And no matter what it takes, I’m gonna make her hand the ang bao to me.
Murhurr.
No escaping for you!

She’s damn busy entertaining her cousins now and I’m freaking bored waiting for her to come online.
I bet when she’s in, I’m out.

Oh yeah, all thanks to her one night, I slept at 3am and had to wake up 4hours later to go visiting.
Thanks uh baby, I woke up so early and you, fucking late please.

Ah, she’s online now
Whoopeee!
So enough updating since I’m only here to pass time.

Listening to your heartbeat, calms me down.

2008-02-07T00:38:00.000+08:00

Knock it off.

Reunion dinner is boring.
Just the usual eat, talk, wait for food, talk again, more waiting..
And seeing my nephew running all over the place like it’s his playground and the people have to avoid knocking him down ‘cause he’s so small.
Noisy and disgustingly irritating.

But the food is great and I heard they spent over 1k plus. Tsk tsk.
So over 1k of food went down our stomach and will be out the next morning or so.
Waste? Maybe

Omgwtf, it’s my neighbours turn to play their CNY songssss.
Crappp
I’m gonna complain (^%@#@)(#

Sooooo, it’s no longer the eve but actual now since its past 12.
Damnit, like no difference sia.
Oh well, I will just have to go out tmr to get more ang baos.

People please hurry get yourself hooked to somebody so that I can get more ang baos when I visit!
Hahahs.
And I myself shall stay single to receive(:
Ah, single is bliss.

Anyhow, I have to wake up at 7 just to snatch the toilets with my sibs.
Damn, I hate waking up so early but I have no choice ‘cause we have to leave our place uber early.
I hope I can make it (which I think I can’t)

Enough of chasing something which will never be mine.

2008-02-06T15:23:00.000+08:00

Get kinky.

I’ve finally done with my CNY shopping yesterday. I know its damn freaking last minute.
It’s better to have done it somehow than never right?
So I’ve got 6 tees in total and another 3 jeans and a new bag. No new shoes for me cause I couldn’t find anything that I like. Buying on impulse is also a no, no cause I will regret it and throw it aside. I did that to a few pairs. -.-
Waste money? Yeah, I realized that too.

Class gathering happened yesterday too. It was, uhm..nothing special? HAHA
Okay one word, BORING.
But but, arcade’s damn freaking fun pls. I shall leak out Ms ho’s secret. She’s a damn bad driver. Seriously, she can’t drive straight. And it’s damn funny just to watch her car going off course. She really shouldn’t waste her buckeroos in the arcade. Hahas

On a separate note, its CNY’s eve today.
I’m heading off to the reunion dinner approximately 2 hour plus from now.
Seriously, i’m not a big fan of chinese new year or, any other festive season.
(People should not celebrate –Middle Finger-)

But I think I can survive chinese new year cause of the ang baos. HAHA
No ang bao, no CNY for me.
So we are the ones taking in the cash and our parents giving away.

Anyone heard the techno version of CNY’s songs?
Well, if you haven’t please come to my house.
My dad is playing it so super loudly and I think the amplifier is gonna burst anytime soon.
Plus, it’s giving me a big headache and he just wouldn’t turn the volume down.
His philosophy? It’s once every year lah.
)(&$^%#^$#
I don’t know who the hell bought that version. And now I appreciate the normal ones.

Your face, your smile and your lips.
Hypnotize me.

2008-02-01T16:13:00.001+08:00

I'm scared.

I'm back to blogging once again and i damn swear blogger is testing me again.
I'm just gonna move out once this stupid thing ripped off all the shitt in me.

So the past few days have been rather crazed. And i shall not fucking elaborate '
cause i don't think there a need to. But i must say its something which i will be deeply etched in my memory.

On a separate note, i couldn't bare to crash the blog like i wanted to 'cause there's just too much to leave behind. So i decided to keep it till i'm ready to leave it for good(:

edit.

So CNY is round the corner and i'm not done with my shopping. I've got a million things that i wanna buy but, i'm broke. It's damn depressing when you see something that you fucking want and then take a peep at your wallet and go, "uh-oh, i can't buy it"

Like men, we can only have two problems.

Women or money. HAHA

3 words, 8 alphabets, 1 meaning.
I love you.

2008-01-26T19:37:00.000+08:00

Jaded-Emotions is over!
So i will be gone for Long/Good and whatever there is.

2008-01-24T00:23:00.000+08:00

My heart is going to break approximately in a couple of hours more.

2008-01-22T23:22:00.000+08:00

Bring me closer to heart attack.

I had a greaaaat dream last night.
We were in this grassy plain, just you and i.
We didn’t have any worries or anything but bliss.
I listened to your heartbeat as I held you in my arms
And I woke up to an empty bed.

So I heard that the results will be out on thurs.
And somehow I’ve got the vibe that I’d screw it up real badly.
If I do, I’m really not surprised since I did screw maths and science.
Anyhow, I need a miracle to get me by.

Purely a mistake, I couldn’t and shouldn’t have made it.
I let my emotions ran too far and now I’m wasting my efforts retrieving it back.
One history is enough to last me a lifetime, I don’t another to remind me again.
So screw unwanted emotions and heartaches.

Now I realized that I’m getting real random right now and I most probably don’t make any sense.
But hell, I give no shits about it.
Humans need a break someday, don’t they?
And so this is my break down point. HAHA

I better get off now or I might just lose it.
And I’m suddenly reminded of you. God knows why but whenever I’m in a crap mood, you will come to my mind and I fucking hate it ‘cause you were never there.

I don’t like THIS feeling.

2008-01-21T12:26:00.000+08:00

That’s definitely closure.

Four hours of sleep + God knows what I’ve been thinking= Horrible Day

I can’t believe I’m up at this time of the day since I slept ard 7. So that’s about 4 hours plus of sleep only. Goddamnit. How the hell am I suppose to head out for dinner later. My head will surely split from the amount of alcohol that I’m gonna consume and also from the lack of sleep. Fuck insanity. I tried to sleep but I can’t get any rest. Plus, the people in my house made so much noise when they prepare themselves for school. Tell me how to sleep with hell rising?

Maybe after this post I’ll crawl back into bed since there’s no one at home now.
I’m coming my beloved bed..

Now I want to work! There’s like nothing to do at home or whatsoever. Plus, my cash will surely deplete if I keep spending and not working. So, any lobang people?! I’m actually considering going back to lacoste since its easy job and good money. Well, maybe I can just live off my dad. HAHA

I’m a little hungry right now and I just found out that my mom left 3 slices of bread in the oven for me. (*^&^#$^# Hell yeah I’m complaining but it seems like I don’t have a choice. So, I’ll have to eat it up ‘cause I didn’t had my dinner last night. Ah, at least I will have some proper food later. I’m looking forward to it. Hahahas

This time, I’m gonna drink till I’m drunk. It helps sleeping easier right? Hahahs. That’s if I have enough cash to pay for it or else I have to work my debts off. HAHA. The most go chomp chomp to drink. It’s cheaper isn’t it?

That’s it, I’m heading in.

2008-01-19T20:40:00.000+08:00

You’ve made me so darn confused.

I don’t have any goddamn mood to post but I’m posting anyway.

I’ve been reading comics online the whole of today.
I’m not really addicted to it, just that I’m fucking bored and there’s nothing better for me to do.
So i finished two series in a day and it’s really good I must admit.
All the girls have unrealistic big boobs and I swear their body is so good. Thus, it made me wonder why no such girl exist on earth and then I start to wish that the girls from the mangas would just jump right out and appear in front of me.
Tell me that I can keep dreaming ‘cause that will never happen.

So B said that we were like some perverts talking about those girls in the comics. But then again, it’s kinda normal to oogle at good stuff right plus, it’s not even real. Lets take it to a higher level, we will sit somewhere in geylang or some kopitiam to oogle at those woman. Since they like to flaunt their stuff, we just stare la. HAHA. Okay, I’m joking, comics are enough.

Maybe I won’t be bored stiff at home tmr ‘cause I might have to attend my dad’s company function.
I’d say I won’t be bored stiff at home, and it doesn’t mean that I won’t be bored there.
Ah, crapped.

On a lighter note, S will be drinking with us (H and I) maybe on Mon. Great, we can both get ourselves drunk. Both of us aren’t feeling anything close to good so maybe we can be drunk and just forget every goddamn thing. Ahh, so most prolly we will have 3 drunkards. Addition to the number of drunk ass in chomp chomp. Xiaozhu, this time I want 2 pint of Hoegaarden!

Okay, i'm the affair.
Stop asking already.

2008-01-18T00:56:00.000+08:00

I snap.

I'm screwed today. Fucking weather, so effing hot for what?! I bathe like 3 times in the afternoon and i still feel damn hot. In fact, it's not cooling now when it's supposed to be. Damn! )(@#!%#&^*(

My heart gave some problem while i was out today. Damn, i kept having sudden sharp pain and it doesn't feel anything close to good. It's been a long while since i felt this pain. I hope it will just go away when i wake up tmr. I almost die after playing some ball game in the arcade earlier on. I felt like an old uncle, have to sit down and rest cos i couldn't take the pain any longer. I don't mind a change of heart. So who's dying? Please donate it to me. HAHA

Something's on my mind. Can't get no rest. Damn, i shouldn't have this shit issue right now. I should just go and drown myself to remind myself that i gotta stay in this stupid dimension called, REALITY.

Let me escape somewhere for a lil while and i swear i will be back with the real me. But somewhere in me don't feel like facing up to reality. Maybe 'cause i've got the fear of losing something. Ah, screw me, screw the fucking weather. The weather is to be blame for my emotions now.

Try to understand, will you?

2008-01-17T11:39:00.000+08:00

Now I don’t even know what’s real and what’s not.

I shall reply the tags here.
Xiaobao: YOU ARE FLOODING THE TAG BOARD. Anyway, we didn’t talk behind your back la. Even if we did, it’s all good stuff what. Agree? You very innocent?! who says so la, quite dirty minded what. Hahahs. Really not pain. It’s numb around that area what. Can’t even feel a shit la. TATTOO is crap. (I think zhu’s gonna kill me for saying this)
Xiaozhu: You always sleep during lesson la except Ganbound’s. Yupp, she thinks it’s gross cos we didn’t really do it but sound like we really did. She’s mad. And she says she’s gonna kill herself if we really do it. We have sex and she kill herself, crazy huh?

I’m actually surprised that I can wake up so fucking early since I was out drinking last night. I wasn’t exactly drunk; in fact, I can still walk a little straight. Just that my ears were damn red and I can hear the blood pumping. Block out my hearing system man.

I went to Xiaozhu’s work place to eat for the first time with B. I fetched her to work and then settle myself at a corner to eat my brownie and wait for B to arrive. Damn, she took taking ages to arrive but thank god baby kept popping by to entertain me. Hoegaarder is way better than Tiger. It’s so much sweeter and all. I’m gonna bring H there to try is someday. She’s super busy going for lessons to spice up her sex life. Wtf pls, don’t waste your money la. Just come to me and I’ll teach you all that I know from Leens(my shifu) and I guarantee you that it’s way better than what you’re learning now plus, plus, plus, it’s free!

Alright, so I spent 3 hour plus there drinking myself silly and I swear B looks like a depressed kid esp when she holds that mug of hers. Great wife of mine, she gave me 1 pint of hoegaarden and it’s really HUGE. I drank half a pint earlier on already and I had to drink that 1 pint. I must be drunk after that half cos I thought I ordered another half but I didn’t hear her repeating the order to me and I just said, “yupp”. I nearly flipped when I saw that HUGE thing coming towards me.

So B drank 1 pint and I drank 1 and a half. Thank god I was still sane or else I’m gonna be so dead when I get home. Hahahas. I had to hide my ubermega fucking red ears la. They were so outstanding pls. Hahahas. So I couldn’t wait up for Xiaozhu to head in before I do ‘cause the alcohol is taking a toll on me and I could only manage to wait till she knock off and then I’m off to dreamland.

I can’t believe I’m talking to Xiaobao about SEX. This is crazy, of all people and I’m talking to her about it. My god, I must be mad. She kept telling me how disgusting Sex is. Hahahs. I felt like I was talking to some kid about it because of her funny response.

I’m going Bugis later on with xiaozhu since its her off day today. Man, I think I will be uber tired since I’m up so early and you know how woman shop. Like what she said, woman shop around even if they don’t intend to buy anything. Good lord, all the best to my legs later. Maybe I should take a nap before meeting her to recharge my energy. Hahahs.

Now I love you, is that okay too?

2008-01-13T01:00:00.000+08:00

So wrong.

I know how it feels
To wake up without her
Lying here all alone
Just thinking about her

I can't believe her hold on me
It's something indescribable
I know she knows
But won't you please

If you see my girl
Just tell her i miss her smile
Tell her I'm counting the minutes
Gonna see her in a while

Everyday of my life sucks now. Have to stay home all day long thanks to those stitches. I can't even eat most food just in case there's an infection and that's the last thing i fucking want sia. So i only eat porridge, fish soup and every single stuff that i so effing hate. Okay, actually i don't really eat. Just a few mouthful so that i can take my med -.- I can't wait for Mon so that i can remove those dumb thing and go out.

Just tell her i love her.

2008-01-08T12:23:00.000+08:00

Can i be the one?

I realised that i haven't been blogging since the new year. Had been pretty busy with Xiao zhu and god knows what i've been doing. So let me give a brief update about all the recent events.

Outing with the clique a few days back. We headed to bugis instead of vivo for whatever shit reasons. So each of us got something back and i;ve bought xiao zhu two shirts which damn suit her. Right baby? We went to ice monster to eat ice and fruits. Its smth like snow ice but way better than it and the price difference too. So off to chomp chomp for real food later. How can ice fill my stomach? So we ordered many many food and the best and most disgusting was the sugar cane(insider joke). Man, i bet all of our throat's are pretty stuckcos mine did. Wahahahs.

The rest of my days were spent at zhu's place. So nothing to update about it(:

Went chomp chomp again with zhu, lala and sherman. That pig found herself a job and she's gonna leave me to rot on my own. I'm gonna be so fucking bored without her la. Anw, she's working while i'm gonna be at home doing all the housework. Sounds cool? Hell yeah!

Baby, you work till damn late la. I can't pick you up at 3am even if i want to cos of my folks but i can accompany you to work before heading back to do all the housework. Wahhahas. Just don't forget to feed me. Hahahs

Now i shall do Leen's survey thing. Fucking long.

RULES to follow
1. Do the following WITHOUT complains.
2. Choose 5 people to do this after you completed yours.
3. Leave a tag on the person's tag board to say he/she have been tagged.

FAVOURITES
Colour: Black and white like a zeBRA(:
Food: Anything at anywhere! Minus those greens.
Song: The Barney song! The one that goes, "I love you..you love me.."
Movie: National Treasure.

HAVE YOU EVER
Dated Your Best Friend: Uhm, does Zhu count?! Wahahhas
Broken The Law: Probably, but they are all small case la.
Been Arrested: Not yet.
Been On TV: No.
Kissed Someone You Don't Know: Maybe i can hope for it. Hahahs

5 THINGS YOU ARE WEARING:
1) White shirt.
2) Boxer.
3) Bra?.
4) Hell, i'm wearing whatever to prevent myself from being naked.
5) -

THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY:
1) Wake up.
2) Zoom to Zhu'sm place
3) Disturb her like mad
4) Play DS
5) Irritate her again
6) Eat
7) SLEEP.
8) Irritate her further
9) Shit, now's her turn
10) Steamy Sex(:

THINGS YOU CAN HEAR RIGHT NOW:
1) The rain.
2) My dad's snoring -.-
3) The cars zooming ard
4) My stomach's persistant calling for food -.-

THINGS YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE BORED:
1) Walk ard the house to feel busy
2) Irritate xiao zhu.
3) Eat.
4) Have a quickie. LOL

The 5 lucky chosen ones:
Babyx5?
(i'm lazy)

--------------------------------------

Name: Uncle.
Birth Date: 29th Aug 1990.
Current Status: Complicated stage. Hahahas
Eye Color: Black.
Hair Color: A lil brown.
Righty or Lefty: Righty.

[On the Inside]
Your Heritage: Chinese.
Your Fear: DRAGONFLIES
Your Weakness: YOU
Your Perfect Pizza: Any piping hot pizza with a tub of chocolate ice cream would be great(:

[Yesterday, Today , Tomorrow]
Your First Thought: Damn, xiao zhu's still sleeping -.-
Your Last Thought Before Bedtime:It's not even bedtime yet.
Your Most Missed Memories: Having you ard

[Your Pick]
Pepsi or Coke: Definitely COKE
McDonalds or Burger King: Can i have both?
Single or Group Dates: It depends
Adidas or Nike: I'm a hard core Nike fan
Tea or Nestea: NONE
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate(:
Cappuccino or Coffee: None also
Smoke: Nopee.
Curse: Hell, all the time. -.-
Take showers: Uh, who so dirty sia?
Have a crush: -.-
Think you are in love: YESSSSSS!
Want to get married: Already married la.
Believe in yourself: Yeah.
Think you are a health freak: Hell no!

[In the Past Month]
Drank alcohol: Yup
Gone to the mall: What a question -.-
Been on stage: Nooo.
Eaten sushi: YES!
Dyed your hair: Mmm Hmm.

[Have You Ever...]
Played a stripping game: No but i wanna play!
Changed who you were to fit in: hmm..don't think so

[Age]
You are hoping to be married at the age of: Tsk, already married la.
[In a Girl]
Best Eye Color: Any colour cos i will like her still.
Best Hair Color: Pls read the above.
Short Hair or Long Hair: This i must have a say. Hahahs. LONG

[What Were You Doing]
1 Min Ago: Doing this long survey?! -.-
1 Hour Ago: Watching dramas.
5 Hours Ago: At zhu's place playing?
1 Month Ago: Working my arse off
1 Year Ago: Uhm..mugging my brains away for O's

[Finish the Sentence]
I Love: ZHU
I Feel: Sleepy.
I Hate: Dragonflies.
I Hide: Away from reality.
I Need: My bed

The next 5 peeps are:
BABY
BABY
BABY
BABY
BABY!
(You better do it too)

That's all now.

Use your heart to feel my love.

2008-01-01T05:04:00.000+08:00

Baby, I'm Staying For Good.

Good morning y'all. I'm back to nocturnal life since i'm a free man now. No more work and no more crappy hours! I can be a full time slacker once again(:

So i just got home from the countdown and it's really insane. But despite all, it's really great all thanks to zhu and the rest(: So we had three gorgeous ladies, 2 butches and 2 guys. The guys are pretty mad esp cap boy. He's really the max. We had to squeeze with the crowd but it wasn't for long cause we sneak into a private party at the rooftop. (URA please. We didn't know till we were about to leave) There were so many securities cordoning the escalator to the rooftop but all thanks to one guy's idea, we sneaked in. We had the best view and the best thing was there were people serving us drinks and food. Gawd, it's the best countdown please. We didn't have to pack ourselves like sardines with the others. We had nice breeze and could gaze at the stars. Baby said that those weren't stars but balloons. -.- In fact, they were really stars. She's mad. I think she will most probably kill me after seeing this. Hahahahs

After the whole thing ended, it's back to squeezing again. The people were really high la. And some stupid parents can bring their kids to the countdown in a fucking pram. What's wrong with their brains man. Don't they know that it's really crowded and there won't be space for a effing pram huh? And those bangalas are really annoying and stinky. -opps. HAHA. They kept pushing like no fucks business la.

We went to eat after that cause we were all damn hungry. Maybe except ying xiu cause she only drink Teh. My stomach's really mad. I had pizza and donuts from my in charge before heading over to meet them but i still felt hungry after a few hours. Damn, i'm such a pig.

So next year we decided to countdown in the club. At least we get to drink and be drunk. But lala doesn't want to go for the countdown anymore. Hate the crowd i guess.

So..it's a new year with new beginnings now. Damn, i'm scared but it's gonna be good i guess cause i had a really good start(: More parties to come please.

I sneaked home later to find my Mom in the living room watching teevee. I think she waited for me to be back before she head in. Hahahahs. So she didn't really nag at me but she just asked if it was fun. Hahahs. Coolie, i'm heading out till late as often now. Hahahas. My dad's sleeping so i guess i'm fine or else i might find myself in deep shit. HAHA

So Xiao zhu's is betting to see if i can stay up till sun rise and i must must prove to her that i can! So i shall sleep after 6am. Hahahs. Anw, i most prolly can cause i'm not really sleepy after those high moments. Oh yeah, i forgot to tell you that you look really good today. Okay, you look great every other day but today's just beautiful(: Be happy, i'm here praising you so what do i get as a reward? HAHAHAS

HAPPY NEW YEAR Y'ALL!

Don't throw it all away even if i doesn't mean a thing to you anymore.

2007-12-31T11:51:00.000+08:00

I’m afraid to see your back once more.

This post is gonna be a very emo one. If you don’t wanna be caught in it then I suggest you should just close this window right now.

It’s gonna be 2008 real soon and seriously I don’t want the new year to come at all. I still remember getting kicked in the arse with a bunch of others by that fat arse big bird at the beginning of the year. It’s pretty cool having to skip class every single day till she’s satisfied with our uniform and hair. We screwed up real badly but we sure had fun.

I damn miss being with the class and of course my most beloved Xiao zhu. Now we can’t be together like how we used to. We are like together all the time and now, the time I spent with her is less than 24 hours. I will damn sure make it up. I still miss those cheap entertainments that we gave each other when there was nothing to do. Those were the times where our attitude towards most of the stuff is “Fuck la” I think that attitude still hasn’t much change but its just different back then.

Now this one is stupid. I miss holding her school bag for her. Dumb isn’t it? But hell, I miss it though and I don’t know why. And I miss having her right beside me and knowing that she is always an arm length away.

If you’re reading this pig, let’s spend the whole day out some time again. I damn hell need and want to be with you! See, you’re dearly missed by me.

This year I got myself into a whirlwind romance. I don’t know why I got myself into that maybe to take my mind off someone. She got together with me to get over someone too. But then again, I felt like a jerk. I shouldn’t have used someone to get over another. It’s bad I know. But we’re over it and cool with how things are now.

I still remember that on this very day last year. 31st Dec 2006 her one msg broke me down real bad. When I’ve decided to leave it all behind and not take it to 2007, she didn’t make it possible for me. I still remember how screwed I felt. The nights were real hard to get by and I just couldn’t keep my mind off her. That was how screwed I was. Well at least I know that I won’t have to take it all to the next year. And if someday I do miss her, I will just have to go back to my memory of 2006. It contains the best of her. 2007 is just crap so I rather stay clear of it.

I used to need to hear some words from her but as I look back now, I couldn’t remember much less know why I needed to hear it. I guess those words wouldn’t make a difference now since things change and no doubt we’ve changed. Many times I wanted to relieve those old times but I just couldn’t reach her so I don’t have a choice but to deal with it on my own. Plus even if I could reach her, what difference would it make? It’s not as if she will put everything on hold and agree to head back for a day. The memories are a little blurred now cos I don’t often play it in my head so I guess someday I might just forget it and I hope that will never happen cos history makes a person become whoever he/she is.

I still feel a thug at the heart strings whenever I look or think about her so I guess I’m not really over it right? It takes time to completely get over something for me but I don’t know about her. It seems to me that she has already moved on a long time ago. Oh well, maybe someday when I look or think about you, I won’t feel anything anymore. Hahahas. That will be like a million light years away. -.-

So change being constantly the only thing constant and my inevitable fear or change, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to pray.
God, please, keep at least some things the same.

I know feelings do change overnight, it did for me but I rather lock those feeling up so that it wouldn’t be wasted away and I wouldn’t have to watch you walk away. That was really hard. I seriously built it all up just to watch it all fall before my eyes. I don’t even know why I even made the effort to climb to the top just to jump it off the next second. That’s damn bloody stupid.

So, it’s a tradition.

My New Year Resolutions.

I can’t remember what was mine last year and they never work I tell you. But what the heck.

1. To grow a dick.
2. Have great steamy sex with a sexy girl
3. Turn straight
4. I don’t need to find myself a wife cause I’m already blissfully married so I just have to be a better man for her.

HAHA. They damn hell contradict each other. Well, like I said this doesn’t work. HAHAHA

5. Get real drunk with Hilda. (this might happen)
6. Take off with my pay check
7. Kill MOH

I’m done.

That wasn’t so bad right? It sounds pretty achievable to me. HAHAHA

That’s it for now. I’m gonna welcome the New Year in LACOSTE. To hell with it. No partying for me all thanks to the MOH. One hell of a bitch.

Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever.

2007-12-31T01:22:00.000+08:00

No Matter Where I Go, I’ll Keep You Close.

~~Let me announce something before I start the post.~~

~~I’M OFFICIALLY MARRIED TO XIAO ZHU AT 8PM ON THE 30TH OF DECEMBER 2007. SHE’S THE BEST THING IN MY LIFE AND I SO DAMN LOVE HER TO THE MAX!~~

So I’m in KL having my honeymoon without her. WTF right?! Anyway I most prolly be a river bay away from her if she’s there(: You better be there to welcome the new year with me eh. And we will have good food some other day with the rest(:

Alright, work’s been pretty okay lately cause MOH isn’t there to stress as all up. And the best thing is that I’ll be having pizza, donut and don’t know what else. Wahahas. I can’t wait but I don’t wanna go over to Marina Square to help out in the midnight slaes.

Can’t all those crazy shoppers stay at home to sleep or watch a good old video instead of shopping till midnight huh. It’s really crazy. Plus who will go shopping in the night when it’s the New Year’s Eve and everybody will be off somewhere to countdown. Damnit.

On a separate note, I feel like eating ice cream right now la. I think I will just eat it before heading to work since my mom isn’t around to spy on me. Okay, that was random. Hahahs.

Anw, I spent some quality time with zhu at her place and it was real good. Boost up the sexiness baby! So we played tennis, baseball and golf under the dark dark sky. And the best thing was, she was wearing fbts. Hell, I’m not complaining cos that was the sexy part. So imagine playing golf at night. Tell me what can you see man. Hahhas.

Her mom is really scary. She came into the room without making much noise and her face is covered in some black thing and I turned when I felt someone’s presence and her face was so close to mine la cos she can’t see clearly without her glasses. My god, I almost shit in my pants please. Don’t ever ever do it again man, I have a weak heart. Wahahas.

Okay, I’m done here. I need my bed already.
So goodnight y’all. I’m gonna dream about your sexiness!

To good to be true.

2007-12-30T00:55:00.000+08:00

Are you still the same or did you change somehow?

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there’s none there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

Today’s work has been pretty cool I must say. Break was super unusual cos I got this girl coming up to asking me for my number on her friend’s behalf. I was eating my burger and she suddenly sat down in front of me. I was like, “huh, it’s not crowded at all so why share a table?” Obviously that sentence was in my head and I didn’t say it to her. She gave that funny stare that I can’t describe. Anyway, check out our conv.

Girl: “hi, can I have your number? My friend wants it” (there’s a tinge of playfulness in her voice. Kinda cute I must admit)
Me: -Shocked. (took one whole min to digest whatever that was asked) “ Woah, you want it or your friend?”
Girl: (With the same nice smile and tone) “When you give it to her, I will also get it”
Me: “Right, so where is your friend?”
Girl: “Behind you”
Me: (Turn my head back and I saw 3 giggly girls whispering to themselves and staring at me) -_____________- “So which is the one?”
Girl: “Your expression is really funny, it’s the girl in white”
Me: “Ohh, she’s as good looking as you” (I’m flirting there and I can’t help it. Dang!)
Girl: “Thanks, so can I get your number?”
Me: -_____- “How about you give me yours instead?”
Girl: “Okay and you’ll promise to text me?”
Me: “Sure thing”
Girl: “Will you join us for lunch?”
Me: “Nah, I’ll pass. My break’s gonna end soon”

Okay that’s part of the conv. The rest is kinda private cos there was so much flirting going on even I myself feeling like puking when I think about it. Hahahs. Nah, it isn’t so bad. So the girl’s Valerie and she’s a year older than me. I think I have a thing for older people. Wahahas. Anyway I won’t text her like how i promised to do cos she’s just a completely stranger to me plus I don’t believe in love at first sight anymore. Hahahs.

But they’re really hot. I should have stayed on longer to have lunch with them. Hahahas.
I didn’t cos what am I suppose to do when I’m surrounded by those girls? I will surely be so lost for words and I damn hate that feeling. Hahahs.

On a separate note, Sy asked me some really weird qn all thanks to her clique and my so called good friends which she didn’t wanna disclose. o I guess it’s some kaypo people. Anyway, it’s really weird to have her asking me that qn of what I think about our relationship together and what do you think others see us as. Well, we are friends aren’t we? Friends that are close enough that people might mistake us something more. I can’t blame it either since you know we had smth going on back then so people thought we made up already. So my dearest ahma, don’t give two hoots about what they say cos I still love you no matter what and their qn shouldn’t affect you yeah. Ah nut misses you(:

I’m done for today. Work tmr! ^%%$@#(

I will go to the ends of the earth for you.

2007-12-29T12:54:00.000+08:00

It's Just Meant To Be Broken.

Let me complain before i start the post.

I'm gonna start work in a couple of hours from nowww! I'm feeling too lazy to work i don't feel right so i don't don't want to effing work right now! And if MOH comes in, that's it. My mood will plunge deeper into the ground.

Okay, now i feel a little better(:

So i just woke up not too long ago due to the lack of sleep the past nights. If i don't have to work then i'm fine with it but now, Urgh! I will just have to rush home later to get more shut eye. I can't sleep on the train cause today's a Saturday and 9pm will still be very crowded with people.

My eyes are gonna be square soon cause my life's been practically revolving around the com. Like how i just woke up and tada! i'm here. My mom's been nagging about this cause i don't do anything but sit in front of the com the entire day. I even skipped food at times. I will always tell her '' Not hungry so don't eat''. Hahahs. But its true, i just don't feel like eating even if i'm damn hungry. I will be staring at the food and say i'm not hungry already but in fact i was damn hungry before that. This is insane, i need to really eat soon. So first of Jan, here i come!

On a separate note, Calista's card is sitting on my table staring back at me and i have the sudden urge to take a look at it again. She handmade it for me and it's really cute. But i can't seem to read the words cause of her choice of pens. But oh well, i really like that card. It's the first one from her(: I will keep it with me forever(:

Okay i need to eat at least a few mouthful of my food or else my mom's gonna kill me. So i'll be back later(:

You keep searching and digging deeper into the chest, only to realise that whatever you're seeking was torn and ripped apart personally by you a long time ago.

2007-12-28T20:04:00.000+08:00

I've Quit Trying A Long Time Ago.

So, this is my second post for the day. A little bored while i'm waiting for the thing to upload. Freaking slow i'd tell you. Anyway, i haven't got any thing better to do so i did this survey to kill time. Pretty fun and the questions are so unexpected.

So here goes.

List 10 of your friends.
1. Hilda
2. Chen chian
3. Xiao zhu
4. Xiao bao
5. Siang ying
6. Raina
7. Calista(:
8. Angela
9. Leens
10. Peiqing

1. How long have you known 1?: Since primary school?
2. Have you been to 8's house?: Yupp, a couple of times.
3. Do you like 6?: Yeah i do. I like all which i've mentioned above.
4. Are 4 and 10 friends?: Yupp, great pals.
5. Have you been to 3's house?: Over a million times.
6. Would you ever live with 5?: I rather sleep on my own bed so i guess its a no. Hahahs
7. When was the last time you talked to 4?: Hmm..when i met her some time ago at heartland?
8. Would 1 and 6 make a good couple?: Hell no. Thats just crazy.
9. How about 8 and 10?: No to that as well. 8 is very devoted to someone. Hahahs
10. Have you dreamt about 2?: Once in a blue moon.
11. Have you slept with 9?: Uhm, nope.
12. Is 7 attractive?: You bet!
13: Do you love 4?: Yupp yupp.
14. Would you cuddle with 1?: We always cuddle. Esp if i'm made to watch horror movies. -.-
16. Would you ever kiss 3?: I had the felling of kissing her before. Do you rmb the sweet that was so hot and you passed it to me? Geez, our lips touched.
17. What do you like best about 6?: Lets's talk about 7 instead. I like her bubbly character(:
18: Have you ever had a crush on 1, 3, 5, 7 or 9?: Yeah i had a big crush on xiao zhu. Hahahs
19. Do you wish you never ever met 3?: Hell no. She's the best thing that ever happen in my life
20: How did you meet 5?: Through bing?
21. Has 2 seen you naked?: Stark naked? No way.
22. Have you seen 3 naked?: Ahh, that something worth dying for. Wahahhas
23. Who is taller? 5 or 10?: Difinately 10. She has my genes. Hahahs
24. Have you met 4's family?: Nope.
25. Will you ever go out with 3?: Sure, why not?
26. Do you think 7 is funny?: Hell yeah! Never fails to amaze me.
27. What about 6? Uhm yeah, sometimes.
28. Where was the last place you went with 1?: Heartland's kopitiam -.-
29. When was the last time you hung out with 2?: Since class gathering? That's like way back.
30. Where do you want to take 3?: To either her bed or mine. *cheeky grin
31. When do you want to see 4?: On the first of Jan.
32. Would 5 and 6 make a good couple?: Crazy or what?!
33. Have 7 and 8 ever kissed?: Told you 8 is very devoted to someone plus 7 and 8 don't know each other.
34. Would 9 nd 10 ever live together?: Not in this life time. Hahahas.
35. Would you let 3 have your baby?: When its possible then say laa. -.-
36. Have you told 1 your deep dark secret?: Yeah. We exchange secrets.
37. Has 1 ever told you a secret?: Read the above pls.
38. Would you runaway with 6?: Hahahs.
39. Who was the last person 9 kissed?: I don't know, its her life and i don't ask.
40. Who was the last person 7 hugged?: One of her family member?
41. What word or phrase does 5 says alot?: I'm not too sure but i know she keeps calling me Ah nut.
42. Does 6 like you?: Hahahahas. Try asking her. -.-
43. Does 2 ever annoy you?: Not really
44. When did you last call 4?: We don't talk on the phone.
45. Do you ever talk to 3 online?: Yeah
46. What about 2?: Mmm hmm..if not how to remain as friends?
47. Does 10 smell bad?: NOPE
48. Does 1 smell nice?: Lets just say she doesn't smell bad. I don't go ard smelling people dude.
49. Are 1 and 8 friends?: Maybe those 'hi and bye' kind.
50. Who do you love most in the above mentioned?: No one in particular, i love them all! (safest answer just in case i get smack by any of them) Hahahs

And so i'm done with the survey. Now i'm getting a little hungry and my dinner isn't home yet. Anyhow, i have work tmr and i damn hell don't wanna work tmr. I'm a little lazy and the thought of folding endless clothes scares the shit outta me. Plus i'm working till 9 tmr. Thats just crazy. I wanna go home earlier to bum ard or do some shopping la. Thank god sunday i will only work till 7 cause i start at freaking 12. And till then i'm a free bird. I can go get myself a hot girl for a few night. Wahahas. Thats just one random and insane thought.

I need some shut eye right now. Mybe after dinner or something. I got in bed at ard 4 last night and i woke up at ard 9. Its crazy i know but i just can't sleep la. So maybe tonight i might get some good sleep so that i can deal with MOH or that candice tmr. I hope they both don't come la, thats the best for me.

Let's just go back to the way things were for a day shall we?
Keep dreaming and it might just happen.

2007-12-28T03:01:00.000+08:00

Emotions Ripped Out Once Again.

I should be in bed at this hour right now but i just can't sleep. Even if my eyes are closed, my brain is still running through past and recent events and i don't get it. To hell with it for now cause I'm afraid to really go through even single bit of it once again. Especially not right now cause i might just lose it once again.

Okay so work had been pretty slack since most people got their presents. So basically my job is just to stand ard and pretend to be busy and i get the cash. Pretty cool huh but the down side is, time passes way too slowly for me. There's nothing much to do so time crawls when you keep checking on the time.

Anyway, if someone ask for a new freaking piece again i might just slap the shit outta him/her. Can't they just get it that every single piece in the store is new and nothing is old or recycled? To all fucktards out there, stop asking for a new piece every time unless that thing is really in a bad shape.

3 more days of folding those damn clothes which i can't seemed to get it done nicely till today. I think i might need more practise to ace it. Folding clothes is really hard especially if there's a mountain of it. But thank god i'm gonna quit doing that real soon and get back to my ole night life which i damn hell missed.

On a separate note, H you better get your mom to allow you to get out of the hse at that ungodly hour to have supper with us okay. If you don't, who's gonna drink and get drunk with me huh? Kidding, we definitely won't get ourselves drunk cause both our mom will kill us. Plus i'm afraid you'll leave me behind if i'm drunk cause i sure as hell will leave you behind. Wahahahs. Joking babe. So hurry get your mom's permission. Tell her you'll be home the next day. That's what i told my mom anyway and she's cool with it so i guess yours will be the same(:

So after work i went to Serangoon to have my dinner with the babes. The little one has a bottomless pit for a stomach. She eats more than me i guess and i doubt she's ever full. She has incredible energy that no one has cause she was running ard the playground. You can say i was super tired and didn't have the energy to play with her. Ah, let's face it. I'm old but hey i wasn't the oldest there. She is (Yes, its you =D) So basically we just eat, talk and just hang ard eat other. It's been a long time since i was out with her. She's still as mad as ever and that makes her funny and cool to be ard with.

Well, i must admit that i wasn't entirely myself that night( actually it's just a few hours ago only since the time now is rather screwed) cause of the distance that grew over time. But the good thing is, it felt way better than the first time i went out with them. That very afternoon i was so damn nervous and all but i felt pretty cool when i met them a few hours back. So it's great catching out with them once again cause i don't know when is the next time we'll meet since school is starting for the both of them. Oh well, the night was great and it really has been a long run.

edit.

I have issues that i can't understand much less settle it. If i follow my head rather than my heart, i might just regret it in the later part. But if i follow my heart, i might just lose it all and it never was there in the first place. SOMEBODY HELP!

I might not be the best but when it came to you, i gave in my all.
Cause i felt it in my heart that it will work.
But i guess you never did cause i overlooked one crucial point
And that is, you had someone else in your heart and there is no way you can squeeze another person in.
Or maybe i just wasn't what you had expected.
Maybe you wanted something more which i couldn't give.

I will most probably walk down the same road once again knowing what i will feel and all
cause the time shared has higher value than those crap bad memories.
I might just turn the bad ones into something good.
Who knows..

Alright, i'm just a little screwed right now. I'll just have to sleep it off and every thing's gonna be okay when i wake up. This sounds reassuring and i love it. Hahahs. So goodnight world. I'm off tmr! WHOOPEEE!

Let's make it OUR time.

2007-12-27T01:44:00.000+08:00

It Still Feels So Damn Good After So Long.

Firstly, Merry Christmas to all!
I've been slogging my ass off during the season cos of the post Christmas promotions. Good lord, there sure are many last minute shoppers out there. And i hate them all cos they should have known that since they're getting the stuff so late, the sizes for the shirts will only be huge. And still they dare to complain and ask so many fucked up questions. Tsk, whats with people these days?

Okay at least Christmas eve was good. I spent it with xiao zhu and the others. I gave some crap excuse so that I can knock off early just to be at her place to celebrate both her birthday and Christmas too. Her cousins are all so cute and i can still recall how annoying that bug toy is. The kids seemed to love it though.

It's so good being with you agn big bell. I damn miss those days at your place just hanging ard till night and i always have to rush home for dinner. Hahahhs. But one thing i don't miss is you touching and pulling at my ear. Hahahs. You got me that night. Hahahas.

So MOH treated us to Nasi Lemak on Christmas and i must say the food is really good but that doesn't change my perspective of her still. She's still one annoying fucked up bitch that i've ever met. I damn hope i don't have to see her at work in a couple of hours more.

My Mom's really great. She got both my sis and I a Braun Buffel watch for christmas. My watch is really cool and i damn love it. My sis has weird taste so i don't really know what to say about her watch. Hahahas. And my dad got my mom a bag from there too. It was really crazy. I'm lazy to go into details here so..

On a separate note, i can't wait to have supper with the clique on the first of Jan at chomp chomp. It's been so long since we last got together to chill. This time more Heineken! I know Hilda will be drinking with me. I'm pretty sure of that or its the other way round. Hahahs. I'm excited but isn't 11.45 a lil too late to eat? Oh well, at least we get to be tgt.

edit.

Anybody interested to take off with me to either Thailand or Vietnam to purchase a girl and to live like a king or queen?! Well, this idea sounds pretty cool for me and i seriously don't mind. The stuff there are cheap and condoms will most prolly be cheap as well unlike here. Way to expensive just to buy a thin layer of rubber. I'll pass that. -.-

Alrighty i need some shut eye right now.

I don't need anything but a little luck whenever i see you,
Cause i get stuck and my words just don't fit.
I might need a little more help than anything,
like just one perfect word that could take your heart away
cause every time i try,
I still get tongue-tied and i damn hell need more help to get me by.

So this is my way of saying that i need you.
I really do.

2007-12-22T23:42:00.000+08:00

It Didn’t Even Exist. I was purely making it all up.

I was so right. That bloody fucking MOH came in again. This is like the third or fourth time that she came to the store. What in the world’s wrong with her. Too free or something that she have to come down to check on us? Dang it, we fucking hate it when she’s around and can’t wait for her to leave.

So poor Yeow Siong got scolded by her just because he’s late for like 10 minutes and normally he’s super early la. Just today he’s unlucky so too bad. Anyway, he has to be at the shop at 10am while I get an extra hour of sleep. Hahahas. But the bad thing is I’m working full shift tmr. I hate it cos I have to stand for friggin’ 10 hours plus. Stupid MOH’s good idea to keep us longer. Now all the part-timers are complaining just because of her one brilliant suggestion. (note the sarcasms). She’s really impossible.

Okay Candice officially freaks me out. She freaking touchy and she likes to ask me weird qns which I don’t think its any of her damn ass business. Anyway, back to the point. She keeps grabbing my hand whenever I’m standing beside her folding the damn clothes and she’ll go “opps, I’m sorry” And there’s this incident in the store room. The aisle are freaking narrow and normally we have to wait for the other person to get out before going in cos its almost impossible to squeeze through to the other side. So I was in there first getting some clothes and suddenly she appeared out of nowhere and without waiting for me to get out, she squeeze her way through and her boobs were against my back rubbing past twice to get in and out. Seriously, what’s wrong with this woman? And also, I hate it when she keeps asking me for my schedule. Why so kaypo? -.-

I pray she won’t be in Suntec tmr. I damn wish she will just go back to Wisma. Oh well anyway I have only one more week to go. YESSSS!

Alright enough about work. I still have a long day ahead tmr.
-grumbles

SY gave me a horrible nickname. FYI its AH NUT. I wonder who in the world has this same nickname as me. When I first read that sms, I was like “huh? Now its ah nut instead of donut?!” That SY changed it from donut to ah nut. How convenient eh. And yes its special cos only you call me that. !*(#&@%

Alrighty I’m done here. I need to sleep sp that I can face MOH tmr and take in all her crap without bursting. Seriously that bloody bitch is one hell of a kind.

I might want to start a new chapter.

2007-12-21T12:05:00.000+08:00

It's not getting anywhere.

I fucking hate MOH to the maximum of the fucked up world. As usual that fucking bitch is damn free and she doesn't have anything to do with her fucking time that she came to suntec once again to rant at all of us. Good lord, we almost wanna strangle her and throw her into the sea. She kept saying that we ain't doing a good job and yada yada. I damn think that we could do a better job if she could just stay away from us and shut her effing mouth.

That bitch. I'm gonna hire someone to just screw her for 10 whole fucking minutes cos that's what we all need. I'm not doing that job of screwing her cos she's not worth the time or effort. Bloody bitch's all loosen and shriveled up.

I'm gonna kill her if she's down tmr.

On a separate note, Sy might be coming over tmr since my parents are away for a short trip. Oh, did i mention that? Anw, whole house will be mine till they're back. Okay, she better not come so early cos i need my sleep for work tmr. Damn, i'm working while she's off. Anyway baby have a great day shopping tmr yeah.

That video is taking a million years to load and i'm tired of waiting so i'm heading in now and will catch it tmr before work. Geez, i hate work!

It wouldn't make any difference even if i make an effort.

2007-12-20T12:42:00.000+08:00

P.s I’m Still Not Over You.

The weather is damn fucking cold now and I rather stay in bed the whole day reading those stacks of comics than to step out of the house. But unfortunately, I can most prolly only dream about it cos I still fucking need to work later.

%@!)*@*^%@!^%!

On a brighter note, my Mom will be going over to pick me after I’ve knock off cos she’s paying for that belt(: I can’t wait to get my hands on that belt. I’ve already reserved it and its lying in the store waiting for me to collect it. Wahahahs

I hope IM is working today or else it’s gonna be so uber boring cos YS is leaving early. I will be left alone standing there for a few hours with nobody to play with. This thought sucks big time. I hope it will never happen sia.

On a separate note, I didn’t watch Mr Magoriums ytd. Instead we caught Nation Treasure. Why? Obviously its all because of SY. Hahahahs. But I didn’t regret catching National Treasure cos its pretty good. We were suppose to watch it at Cathay but when we arrived at Ps, we didn’t feel like walking to Cathay so GV. The queue is fucking long and I couldn’t get away with it cos Sy says we have to queue together. So no choice..

The guy sitting 2 seats away from me is damn retarded. At one part of the show, he suddenly sat at the edge of the chair and it looked as though his getting ready to jump into the screen any moment. Man, was that part really very exciting? I’ve got no idea.

I hope I don’t have to work till late in the night on Christmas. I’m gonna be partying at Xiaozhu’s place with the rest of the gang. Xiaozhu said I used to be part of her gang but now I’m not cos I left her. Tsk. I didn’t ever and will never leave you la huh. And things are still the same as before. It will only get better yeah. I miss you hell loads. Remember that piece of paper? The one that I wrote the most stuff for you? The confession thingy that I will love you forever and ever? And I still do..

edit.

I’m uber broke now all thanks to the presents. Tell me how am I supposed to purchase a girl?! Now I really have to wait for payday and it seems so far away la. Maybe I will go knock some cash outta my dad. Wahahahas.

My dad ask the darnest question ever.

Dad: “Let’s all go to this year’s countdown together”

Mom: “So crowded, I don’t want”

Me: “Sorry, might be going with my friends”

Dad: “Why? Okay, bring me along too!”

Me: -__________- “Bring you?! No way”

Dad: “Why? why cannot?”

Me: -_______-

How do I tell him that I’m going out with my friends and its so weird having him ard la. Tsk.

Cause obviously,
Its too close for comfort.

2007-12-19T12:55:00.000+08:00

MORE SEX, MORE LIFEEE!

I'm gonna be out of job real soon and i'm damn looking forward to it. My contract is only one month and i thank the heavens for it man. I'm not planning to renew it cos i just wanna take my fat pay cheque and run somewhere to get myself a hot chick and who god knows where it might lead. -Smirk

It's high time I start being a real full time slacker once more. Wait till i'm bored of playing those games that I just bought and download then i might consider getting myself a job again. But at the meantime, bumming and partying ard is a fine idea. Those nightlife that i used to have before this current job. Argh,i'm missing it! I hate to wake up to the sun, so f-ing hot and glarring. Thank god its the raining season now.

So i'm gonna take my pay cheque to Thailand. Why? I heard that the girls there are HOT so i'm gonna head there and with the cash that i've got, i probably can get a chick there.
I guess. I think. I hope.
Not to worry, its not gonna be a Tranny.
Woman with real boobs that jingle right in front of your face.
HAHAHA

WHO'S DAAA MAAANNN?
I AMMM DAAA MAAANNN!

%^*(@!@!(&*^
What in the world am i thinking man.

On a separate note, i'm gonna catch Mr Magoriums wonder emporium later with Sy and B.
Actually I wanna watch The golden compass and B wanna watch The tattooist.
I shall catch mine with my sis since she wanna wanna watch it too. But we have a prob, both of us are working, how the heck are we gonna find time eh. Ahh, i will just have to get ard her schedule. I heard that the tattooist is a horror movie? If it is then i'm sorry B, you have to get someone else to watch it with you cos i will never watch horror shows in the cinemas la. I hate horror movies, how to watch sia.

Okay, i have to get my fat ass to the toliet to get ready to head out or i will be late. Okay, i think i will be late. Whats new anyway, i hate to get out of the house so early in the day. Plus thinking about me having to get out of the house so early in the morning to work tmr adds to my already piling misery. Christmas please hurry arrive! When that day draws near, my work ends! Hurry hurry, end my misery.

I've got most of the presents ready(: Left with 3 more to go. I thought Calista's present will be hard to get cos i havent seen her for ages and i don't know if she has grown any taller or wider but, i just grab the shirt and pay for it. If it doesn't fit then change it la, whats so difficult about that right? Hahahas.

Okay okay, i've got to dash straight to get myself ready. I might find myself in deep shit if i'm late today.

I like it when you do that thing.

2007-12-17T17:54:00.000+08:00

Look At HowFar We’ve Come

It feels damn good to be here updating again(:
Had been unberdupermega sick since Wednessday. It started out as a slight cough and it developed into smth worse than that. I had a fever and couldn’t go to work. If you think that’s its damn shiok, you’re wrong man. I rather be at work than down with a cough, flu and a fever. I was on bed all day long sleeping la. I don’t have a choice cos all those med made me uber drowsy and I keep drifting off after taking it. Don’t even have the strength to eat much less use the com. The fever shot up further to 39 plus and my Mom got so panicky cos it’s affecting my heart so we cab down to see the doc a second time. She gave me some useless med which didn’t even help on the first visit.

But I’m all good now. In fact my fever subside ytd. No more awful porridge but real FOOD! Hahahas. I haven’t been eating much cos its porridge la. I’m so looking forward for tonight’s dinner. I damn hope my Mom will get me something better to fill my empty stomach. Hahahahs.

On a separate note, past few days of endless sleep, I kept going back to somewhere I don’t wanna go when I’m conscious. But since I’m always sleeping, I accidentally drifted off to the time where you were ard. I went through every single bit of memory and go through those emotions all over again. Sometimes I will wake up with a good feeling and sometimes, I will pine for you. But then again, that’s only for a short while cos I still have to face reality later on. Ahh, I guess I won’t go through it again unless I’m sick cos like I said I won’t go back and replay it all over again when I’m alive and kicking.

It’s shocking to know that it’s gonna be a year since [you know what]. I kinda struggle during the beginning and mid year. I’m surprised to see how far I’ve come when I look back now.

edit.

Xiaozhu, I’m so sorry that I couldn’t go for our since after class gathering date on wed. I was supposed to go to work but end up falling sick. I was looking forward to going out with you and all but unfortunately for don’t know what shit reason, my off day changed. It’s supposed to be fixed but I guess that damn bloody sickening manager changed it. Anyway since you don’t like my previous way of compensation, I have a better one(:
I promise promise from the bottom of my heart that I will surely be right in front of you on Christmas to give you both your X’mas and birthday presents no matter what. Is this compensation good enough for this little pig?

Sy, I’m so sorry I got you so worried cos I didn’t reply most of your smses. Too tired and sick you see. Let’s go catch that movie that you wanted to watch soon yeah. I was damn disappointed that I got a fever on that day where we were supposed to go out. So, till then hon. Will text you my off day again(:

B, thanks for all those smses that you sent but I didn’t reply cos you know la huh. I hope you got your shoes anyway(:

On a lighter note, I will be reporting back to work tmr! Whoohoo..no more slacking cos I want to get that 99bucks belt on my own. I know it’s a lil insane to get it but cos I’m working there, I wanted to get smth of that brand so the belts are the cheapest damn thing in the store. My dad offered to pay but I want to get smth with my own cash(: It feels good that way isn’t it?

I remember throwing all those memories into the depths of the sea
Where nobody can ever get hold of it
But somehow, I found it washed up onto my shore..

One night stand.

See if you can relate to this one.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most was being so close
Having so much to say
Watching you walk away
And never knowing what could have been
And not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doing it
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still harder
Getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing what could have been
And not seeing that loving you was what I was trying to do.

2007-12-11T10:50:00.001+08:00

Ride On.

I realized I haven’t been here in a million years (well, that’s what I feel). So I shall update a lil before heading for work. Not much happen since I’m so damn stuck with that job. I’ve been like standing for so many freaking hours a day and I guess I’m used to it cos my leg doesn’t ache like it did on the first day(:

I hate the damn operation manager. She suck big time la. Nobody wants to pick up her calls and she keeps calling us like we are so damn free (okay, most of the time we are) but still, nobody wants to answer la. The other part-timer guy kenna scolded by her just because he answer her call when the shop is busy(actually its not, the in-charge told him to say that everybody is busy). Poor guy, kenna nag at when its not his fault. Hahahas. Anyway back to that stupid operation manager, She’s fucking sarcastic and she likes to nag at the in-charge. No wonder nobody likes her. Tsk

Geez, that damn in-charge called me to head straight down now cos there’s nobody there and she’s alone. Tsk. Will be back to rant more! ROAR

2007-12-03T14:58:00.000+08:00

Just As Long We’re Together.

I’m off today! It feels good to sleep till around 12 before my mom or the activities around me wake me up. I have work tmr and thank god its only for a mere 5 hours. It’s been pretty fun cos the pay is good and the people are so nice and funny. But obviously minus the long standing hours. My legs ache like fuck man. But I got used to it on the second day. I don’t really have to do much, its more of just standing and look as though you’re busy with something but in fact, there’s nth to do unless there’s a customer. Six staff serving one or two customers. How shiok eh.

The customer’s are filthy rich I’d tell you. They can like buy four fucking polo tees which cos 109 buckeroos without giving it a second thought. And seriously, I don’t see a diff (material wise) in that uber expensive polo. It’s just like Hang Ten’s polos. Ok, maybe that logo. So you pay like 16 buckeroos for a footprint and 109 buckeroos for that crocodile. Tsk, it’s kinda stupid to spend so much on a polo shirt. But oh well, they are fucking rich. All flash their credit cards for payment.

The guys are even better. Don’t even need to try it out. They just ask for that size and choose the colour and when you hand it to them, they just go straight to the cashier and pay. Man, they make my job damn easy(:

And when time gets so hard to pass, there will always be some entertainment. GAYS in the shop make our day! We always look out for them cos each of them is so different. The way they stand and talk. I love to serve them cost her are so funny. Hahahas. So I met a gay couple and 3 other gays. Oh, they don’t dress like females. All are really very good looking and well built. Just that their actions are like females. The gay couple is damn interesting. He calls the other partner, LULU. When I heard it, my hair was standing. Damn gross la. Even females don’t call their partners like how he did. But they are really sweet together. This proves that love is universal. -.- Anw, I hope to see more gays around(:

Oh yeah, first day of work is damn..unusual. My store manager asked me if I’m actually a boy or a girl la. And the best thing is, all of them gather around to hear my answer since there was no customer. Wahahahs. I was like, what a question man. As if she doesn’t have my personal records or maybe she thinks I fill my gender wrongly. Wahahahas.

On a separate note, I need to head out to do some shopping. I seriously need to get some shirts, jeans, belts and sneakers. Anybody kind enough to sponsor me? Any items will be appreciated. Hahahas. I damn need to find a time to head out to shop. I wanted to shop a lil today but I’m damn lazy and sleepy. Must be the full shifts for two consecutive days fault. So maybe I’ll go shopping with my mom since she’s the one paying. Hahahaas. Luckily the maximum number of hours per week is 30 hours and this week I’ve already clocked in 20 hours. So 10 more hours(:

Okay, I’m off to EAT

Baby I can be your hero.

2007-11-30T11:40:00.000+08:00

I Deserve To Die.

AHHHHH. That bloody dream is driving me nuts. Two days in a row already. This shouldn’t be happening, at least not right now. Why must it be of her? I don’t even think that I miss her much la. Life’s been pretty craze for me so where on earth do I have the time to think of her sia. Tsk. This is bad. I’m gonna go bonkers soon if she keeps popping up in my head every now and then.

I thought I’m way past it, seems like I’m wrong.

On a separate note, went to Cathay to watch enchanted last night. We had some time to kill at Ps while waiitiing for H to train down from work. Geez, we were so tired so we sat at Yoshi to drink coke. Wahahahs. Had Thai express later on for dinner and all of us couldn’t really finish our food. Alright so we walk back to cathay to buy our drinks and in we go(;

Okay, I must say that the show is good and worth watching. But the ending is just so not real. Can’t help it, I still feel that fairy tales with their happy ever after are bullshits. One situation made me believe that there’s no happy ever after only once upon a time. Okay, that’s what I believe so maybe there’s happy ever after for some people out there.

We wanted to go to Serangoon garden to have supper (Sy’s great idea) but didn’t go in the end cos B had to rush home or else her mom will kill her. So we ended up at Mac instead. H and I wanted to share a can of beer but because of the rest, we ended up drinking coke instead -.- So home ard 11 plus close to 12 and I only slept at 1 plus la. Talking through the night. Hahahas. Now I’m a lil sleepy but have to head out soon):

I know it’s impossible to revive what’s lost
But somehow I damn wish that its possible.

2007-11-29T15:00:00.000+08:00

It’s Impossible

Was out with Sy and B last night. Had dinner at Compass point and I ate BK again. 3 days in a row man. I’m gonna be so sick of it soon. Hahahhas. But I was rather neat last night. Usually all the sauce and vegetables will be falling apart but last night, it was real neat. My side of my mouth was also quite clean(: First time sia. You know my mouth is really small so I can’t really eat that huge burger but I always go for it no matter what. Hahahhs.

On a separate note, I have serious issues right now. For no fucking reason whatsoever, I dreamt of her last night! Geez, and the thing is, it felt so real. Damn, I really need to hang myself or smth. This can’t be happening, it’s been so damn long alr. Man, history better not repeat itself. Whatever I almost forgot came flashing through my mind again. And I must admit, I’m kinda shock but I really do miss those days. Seems like I can relieve myself through those memories which I fucking intent to leave it. Man, I better start psyco-ing myself all over again that she’s happy the way things are and her smile is all I ever need to be alive. Maybe I don’t even need to psycho myself cos she really is happy now. Oh well, I don’t want that same dream again!

edit

I’m gonna catch enchanted later on with H, Sy and B. Finally Sy found the time to watch it. I’ll kill her if she makes me wait any longer. Wahahaahs. Kidding ahma, I will never ever kill you la huh. Miss you honey and oh, stop msging me so freaking late in the night la. I need my sleep okay. Hahahs. Msg me so late then call me so early in the morning. Gawd, you’re killing me.

Where’s my lunch?! I’m hungry):

Do you remember all those times like I do?
Well, probably not anymore.